MIA
by BRBDyying
Summary: Missing in action. That's what the Navy told her when they showed up on her doorstep six months ago. Would Emma ever see Killian again?
1. Chapter 1

Emma woke up with a start, her heart pounding from a terrible nightmare. She felt the bed next to her, instinctively looking for her husband. When she felt the cold bed, she sat up, running her fingers through the tangles in her hair with a sigh.

Despite the time that had passed since she last spent the night next to Killian, she still wasn't used to waking up alone. As of today, it had been a year since she'd last slept wrapped in his arms. Knowing she wasn't going to get back to sleep anytime soon, Emma got out of bed and moved down the hall to check on their daughter.

Charlotte was standing up in her crib, bouncing slightly. "Mama!" She smiled sleepily when she spotted Emma, rubbing her eyes.

Emma brushed her hair back and kissed her head. "What are you doing up, little one? It's three in the morning.."

Charlotte just reached her little arms towards her mother, and Emma lifted her to rest against her hip. She couldn't believe how fast she was growing, she was now 18 months old, and Emma hated that Killian wasn't there to watch her grow up. Emma grabbed Charlotte's stuffed duck and went back to bed, being with their baby helped keep Emma from falling into her depression.

"How about we read a book, huh?" Emma asked softly, settling them into her bed. She had grabbed a book Killian made, where he recorded him reading so Charlotte could always recognize his voice.

Charlotte cuddled into Emma as they listened to Killian's voice read the book. When it was finished, Emma kissed the top of Charlotte's head.

"Your Daddy loves you so much, Charlotte. He only wanted the best for his Lottie, and I know you don't remember him, but he adored you and you used to only quiet down for him.."

Emma spoke softly, she always tried to talk about Killian with her. She never wanted her to question whether or not her father loved her. Emma felt Charlotte nod against her chest.

"Dada.. Where?" She asked softly, sticking her thumb in her mouth.

"Daddy's away for work, Baby.. He's protecting us from bad people.." Emma tucked the blankets around them. "I know he misses you very much.."

"Miss Dada.." Charlotte breathed, clutching her duck tighter in her little fingers.

"I miss him too, Baby.." Emma turned on one of Charlotte's favorite movies and held her tightly as they tried to go back to sleep.

Both of them eventually fell back to sleep, Emma after Charlotte, cuddled together in the middle of the bed. Emma woke up only an hour after she had finally gone back to sleep, to little hands squishing her cheeks and a knocking on the front door.

"Mama! Up!" Charlotte giggled.

Emma opened her eyes, a soft smile on her face when she saw her baby. "Good morning, Beautiful. Let's go see who's come to visit huh?" She slipped on her glasses and set Charlotte on the floor.

When Emma opened the door to find her brother and sister-in-law standing there with groceries in their arms. She hadn't been awake long enough to let herself realize again what day it was, but she knew she was happy to see her brother anyway.

"Davey!" Charlotte hugged David's leg, she adored her uncle. He had been a father figure to her in Killian's absence.

David easily lifted her to his hip as Emma let them into the apartment. Mary Margaret set the groceries on the counter and immediately started making breakfast for them all. Emma settled at the counter with David and Charlotte.

"Um, not that I'm complaining, but.. Why are you here so early?"

"We figured you would want some help with this munchkin today, and I didn't want you to be alone today of all days.." David said as he tickled his niece gently.

"Today.." Emma sighed, cutting herself off when the weight of the day finally got through her still sleep addled brain.

Emma shook her head, she missed her husband more than anything, and hated that it'd been a year since he'd been home, and six months since the worst day of her life.

David wrapped his arm around Emma's shoulders, pulling her in closer. He was with her six months ago, when her life when to shit, and he would do anything to protect his little sister.

Emma buried her face in his shoulder, taking a deep breath. It had been a year since Killian left for his deployment, and six months later, two naval officers showed up on her front porch, changing her life forever.

Killian, her husband, the father of her little girl, was missing in action. His unit was ambushed, and without a definitive I.D., he had been labeled Missing in Action. The Navy assumed he had been killed, and gave her back all of his personal items they had. Among them had been a set of his dog tags, which she hadn't taken off since that day.

"I appreciate you coming, I do.. I.. I had a nightmare last night, and I barely slept.. I think I got an hour of sleep after I brought Charlotte to bed with me.. I guess I just miss him." Emma sighed, moving to get herself a cup of coffee.

"It's okay to miss him, Sweetie. And since it's Saturday we are yours all day, as long as you want us here." Mary Margaret rubbed her back gently, wanting to comfort her sister-in-law.

She nodded, leaning against the counter. "Thanks, and thank you for making breakfast.."

Emma sipped her coffee, watching Charlotte giggle with David. Charlotte looked so much like her father, she had his bright blue eyes and dark hair; even her ears had slight points to them like Killian's. Mary Margaret placed the pancakes on plates for them all, and helped Emma cut up some fruit for Charlotte to pick at.

They settled at the table to eat, and Mary Margaret made small talk, telling stories about her class to keep Emma distracted. Emma made sure Charlotte didn't make a huge mess with her breakfast, and listened as Mary Margaret chatted with her. They spent the next hour or so just catching up and playing with Charlotte in Emma's living room.

"I had planned to take Charlotte to the park today.. It's a beautiful day, and it's just across the street.." Emma spoke, after having been quiet most of the morning.

"That sounds perfect, Sis.. Do you want me to get her changed and ready to go so you can shower?" David asked.

Emma nodded. "Yeah, that would be great." She gave him a smile before calling to her daughter. "Baby, Uncle David is going to get you dressed and then we're going to go to the park, how does that sound?"

Charlotte grinned at her mother, clapping her little hands together excitedly, she loved being outside. "Yeah!"

Emma couldn't help but smile as she kissed her baby's cheek. "Good. Be good while I get ready, okay?"

Charlotte nodded, toddling back to her uncle. Emma got up to make her way to her own room. She took a shower, letting herself take the time to think about Killian and how much she missed him.

The hot water ran over her, taking a little bit of her pain. Emma knew she needed to be as happy as she could so Charlotte wouldn't pick up on her mood. When she felt relaxed enough she got out and got dressed. All of Killian's belongings were still spread over the house, his clothes still hanging in the closet. She pulled one of his Navy t shirts from the stack and slipped it on with her jeans, pulling his dogtags back over her head and tucking them beneath the shirt.

When she was ready, she went back downstairs to find Mary Margaret just finishing putting Charlotte's hair into little pigtails. She started packing a few snacks and some water into Charlotte's bag, planning to stay at the park for a while. Emma let her brother carry Charlotte as they headed out of the apartment. They'd barely gotten downstairs when Emma remembered her phone.

"Crap, I left my phone upstairs.. You guys go ahead and I'll be right behind you." Emma stopped them.

"Of course, we've got Charlotte. We'll play a little and you take your time if you need a minute, okay?" Mary Margaret gave her a soft smile as Emma nodded. Mary Margaret could see that Emma was still feeling overwhelmed, missing Killian, and wanted her to have the chance to take any moments she needed.

Emma's apartment building was across the street from a nice park where she and Charlotte liked to spend their time when the weather was nice. They picked the apartment when they found out Emma was pregnant, wanting their child to get to play outdoors while living in the city.

Emma thought about the day she told Killian she was pregnant as she made her way back to the apartment. She didn't remember where she'd left her phone, so she looked for it as she let her mind wander. Just after finding her phone in her bathroom, there was a knock on the apartment door.

She opened it without seeing who it was, thinking it was Mary Margaret or David. She was looking at her phone, checking for messages. "You know you don't have to knock.." She spoke as she looked up.

When she saw who was standing there, she froze, her phone dropping to the floor with a loud thud.


	2. Chapter 2

Emma couldn't move, shock and confusion running through her system. "I.. You.." She tried to speak, but the words were caught in her throat, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Swan.." Killian breathed, he couldn't believe he was finally back with her.

Emma shook her head, she was in disbelief. She thought she was imagining things, that her lack of sleep and how much she missed him had caught up to her.

"It's me, Love." He spoke softly, moving closer to her when she still hadn't moved. He ached to hold her, but was hesitant to initiate it after so long away from her.

When she was finally able to move again, she threw herself into his arms, holding him tightly as sobs began to wrack her body. She buried her face in his neck, her tears soaking the collar of his shirt.

"Killian.. I.. I can't.." She tried to speak through her tears.

"Shh.. My love, I've got you.. We don't have to talk." He whispered, pressing a kiss to her hair, his own tears falling.

Killian snaked his arms around her waist and held her closer, keeping them both upright, breathing her scent in for the first time in a year. He was covered in bruises and had sore ribs, but he didn't care about the pain when he had his wife in his arms again.

They both cried tears of joy, standing in the front hall of their apartment with the door wide open. They were unaware of the time that had passed until Mary Margaret came to check on Emma.

"Emma, Sweetie?" She said just as she turned to enter the apartment, stopping in her tracks when she saw Emma hugging someone.

Emma lifted her head from where it had been buried against Killian, her eyes red and cheeks tear stained, as Killian turned to look at the new person in the apartment.

"Oh my.." Mary Margaret was speechless at the sight of her brother-in-law. "Killian?"

"Hello, Lass.. " His voice was hoarse, as he continued to rub Emma's back gently.

"I'm going to call David.." She squeezed his arm gently. "I can't believe you're here, but I'm happy you are." She said softly to him. "Do you want me to have him bring Charlotte?" She asked Emma.

Emma glanced at Killian, wanting to make sure he was ready to see their little girl. Killian nodded, the eagerness to see his baby evident in his eyes.

"Please, I need my baby for this.." She said softly, drying her tears a little.

Emma pulled away from him slightly, in order to assess his injuries, wanting to be sure everything was okay. She traced her fingers over the bruises on his cheek and down to his neck. She stopped when she got to where his left hand should be, lifting his arm gently to her chest.

"Killian.." She breathed. "What did they do to you?"

He shook his head, he didn't want to have to tell her about this right now. "I'm okay.. It looks more painful than it is right now.." He was lying to her, but he just got home, he didn't want to scare her.

He had been captured and tortured, losing his hand had been the least of his worries. When the Navy rescued him, the doctors gave him a lot of pain meds, they had wanted to keep him for longer but he insisted on leaving and finding his family.

Emma hugged him again tightly. "I thought you were dead. They told me they didn't know where you were, and that I should arrange a funeral..They even brought me all of your belongings." She shook her head, tears threatening to fall again.

"I'm so sorry you went through that, Love.. But I'm home now. I'll have to go to the doctors and the base often but.. I'm home." He said softly.

Emma nodded, moving them to the couch so she could curl into his arms more comfortably. Killian settled with his arm around Emma, he needed to feel her close to him so he could be sure this was real.

After a few minutes, David and Charlotte entered the apartment, Charlotte immediately wanting to see her mother, squirming to be let down. David set her on the ground so she could toddle over to Emma, and Emma lifted her to her lap.

"Hi, Princess.. Did you have fun at the park?" Emma asked, kissing her forehead.

She nodded, curling into her mother's arms. "Yeah, Mama.." She said softly, her gaze landing on Killian. She seemed suddenly shy in the presence of someone she isn't sure she knows.

"Baby.. This is your Daddy.. You remember we listened to him read last night?" Emma asked, there were pictures of Killian all over the house, and Emma wanted her to know who her father was and how much he adored her.

Charlotte nodded. "Dada?" She looked to Killian, wanting him to confirm.

Killian nodded. "Aye, Lottie.. I'm your Dada.." He spoke gently.

Killian couldn't believe how gorgeous Charlotte was, and how much she'd grown in the last year. He knew she looked a lot like him too, but he could only see Emma in all of her features. Emma gave him a reassuring smile, leaning against his shoulder.

"Lottie.. When I lost you, I couldn't keep calling her that, it was your nickname for your baby girl.." Emma said softly, rubbing Charlotte's back.

Emma consistently told Charlotte about Killian, never wanting the memory of Killian to die. They read the book he recorded for her, and Charlotte knew who he was in the pictures around the house. Her favorite toy was the little stuffed duck Killian had purchased for her.

"Well, I'm glad I'm back. I know it'll probably take some time for her to be comfortable with me again, but I can't wait to get to know her again.."

Charlotte was still curled up with Emma, but she shifted to see him better. After looking at him a moment, she climbed over Emma's lap so she could sit between her parents. Emma played with her little pigtail absently, looking from her to Killian with a soft smile. Charlotte settled contently leaning against Killian's side, it was obvious she was getting ready for a nap.

They had completely forgotten that Mary Margaret and David were in the apartment with them until David cleared his throat. "Um, Em.. Do you want me to put Charlotte down?" He asked softly.

Emma shook her head. "I'd like to take her, um.. Killian, I'm sure you'd like to change, or shower if you want.. All your clothes are still in the closet.. If you need anything David or I can help."

Killian nodded, his hand had been messing with Charlotte's hair gently like he used to do with Emma's hair. "Aye, a shower might be nice."

"Alright, little one, I'm going to put you down for your nap.. And when you get up, Daddy wants to spend some more time with you, you think you might want to show him your toys?" Emma knew letting her play with Killian would help her get used to him again.

Charlotte nodded. "Yeah, toys.." She looked at Killian with a tired smile.

Killian smiled back at her. "Have a nice nap, Little Love.. We'll play when you get up."

Emma stood and lifted Charlotte into her arms, cuddling her close. She knew how tired Charlotte was, especially since she knew she hadn't slept well the night before. She walked her to her room and sat in the rocking chair with her.

"Your Daddy's home, Princess.. I know he can't wait to spend some time with you again.." She spoke softly, trying to get the baby to fall asleep.

Once Charlotte was asleep, Emma settled her safely into the crib, making sure her little duck was within her reach. She smiled softly, the reality that Killian was home and Charlotte would have both her parents was starting to really set in.

Emma went to their bedroom to check on Killian, he was looking around the room at all the pictures she had of Charlotte, he was focused on the few she left on the dresser.

"I probably take too many pictures of her, but.." She shrugged, trailing off when she noticed him looking at a picture of Charlotte on Liam's lap from a few weeks ago.

Killian startled a little, but glanced at her. "This is recent, aye?" He asked softly.

Emma nodded, wrapping her arm around his waist. "Yeah, a couple weeks ago."

"Liam is okay.. I.. I can't believe it.." He shook his head. "I thought our entire crew was dead.. Is he healthy?"

Emma nodded. "He is now.. He struggled for a while, but he's doing well. Why don't you get a shower and I'll call him and Elsa?"

Killian nodded, pressing a soft kiss to her head. "I love you, Emma. And I've missed you." He whispered.

"I love you too, Killian." She smiled a little, hugging him for a minute before pulling away so he could shower.

She moved back to the kitchen to make some coffee, and found Mary Margaret had already put a pot on. David and Mary Margaret were quietly talking in the kitchen when Emma came in and David immediately moved to hug his little sister.

Emma let her brother hold her, his hand cupping the back of her head. "I can't believe he's here, David.." Her voice was quiet.

He nodded. "I know, Ems.. But he is, and now that Charlotte is asleep, maybe he'll tell you what happened. We can leave if you want us to.."

"Stay.. Killian is your family too, and then he won't have to relive it all again to tell you what happened. And I'm gonna call Liam anyways." She shrugged. "And thank you, for spending time with my little one."

"Of course, Emma.. I love my niece, and I'd do anything for the two of you. I'm happy for you, that your husband is back in your life, and M and I will still be here when you need us." David kissed her temple.

"You're a good brother, David.." She leaned against him. "Um.. Have you seen my phone?" She asked softly. "I need it to call Liam and Elsa.."

Before Emma could try to find her phone, Mary Margaret stopped her. "Use my phone, Sweetie.. I'll find yours while you talk to them."

Emma nodded and dialed Elsa's number. She answered on the first ring, worried something was wrong with Emma or Charlotte.

"Mary Margaret? Is everything okay?" Elsa answered.

"Hey, El.. It's actually Emma. And everything is fine.."

"Oh, Emma.. It's good to hear from you today, are you doing well?"

"I'm fine, Elsa.. But, I do have something to tell you and Liam. Is he around?"

"Of course, I'll put you on speaker."

Emma took a breath, biting her lip nervously. "You both should probably be sitting when I tell you this.."

"Um, okay.. We're sitting, Emma. You're scaring me." Elsa sounded worried again.

Emma took a deep breath. "Well, Killian is alive. And he's here. At the apartment."

Elsa gasped softly. "Killian's.. Alive?" Her voice was soft, the shock evident.

"Yeah, he's alive, and he's mostly okay. He wants to see you guys, so I thought you might come over, unless you're busy.."

"Oh, of course we'll be there, Lass." Liam spoke up. "I can't believe he's okay.. Do you need anything? Have you eaten today? Is my Charlotte alright?"

Since Liam had gotten his strength back he had made sure to take care of Emma and Charlotte whenever they needed anything. He would help Emma when she got busy with work, get them groceries, and he and Elsa would have them over for dinner at least once a week.

"David and Mary Margaret have been here all day helping me with Charlotte, they've made sure I've eaten. Charlotte is good, Liam, she's napping now. Just come on over when you're ready, the door will be unlocked.." Emma appreciated Liam's concern for his niece.

"See you soon, Emma. We can't wait to see him." Elsa said, the shock still evident in her voice, but Emma knew she was happy.

Emma said goodbye and moved to the living room just as Killian was coming out of their room. He had showered and changed into a pair of sweatpants and one of his old t-shirts.

"Feel better?" Emma asked.

"Aye, thank you, Love." He gave her a small smile. "I see you still steal my clothes." He said softly, settling next to her on the couch. His good hand came to toy with the sleeve of the shirt she had on.

"It made me feel close to you, some of your stuff still smelled like your cologne.. And, my husband was missing, presumably dead, and I became a single mom. It was hard, but Charlotte deserved not to have a mom who's depressed all the time, so I did what I could to feel better." She shrugged, kind of rambling.

She didn't know why, but she was nervous he wouldn't like some of the choices she'd made while he was gone. She bit her lip nervously. "I um.. I wear your dog tags." She pulled them from beneath the shirt. "These are the set they brought back in your belongings.."

"Have you ever taken them off?" He asked, and she shook her head. Killian ran his fingers through her hair, taking a moment. "All I want is for you to be happy, Emma.. No matter what. You know, if you moved on from me, I'll understand."

Emma turned so she was facing him completely. "You're kidding right? You are my husband, Killian, my true love. There's no 'moving on' from you." She placed her hand on his knee so he'd look up at her.

"I probably would've spent the rest of my life alone, because I couldn't bear to be with anyone else." She shook her head. "I told you on our wedding day, you're it for me, Killian."

He nodded a little. "Your heart's desire, Swan, is all I want you to have, Love.. And if that meant you finding someone else I would've been okay eventually."

Emma leaned forward and kissed him softly. "I love you so much." She rested her forehead against his for a moment. "Will you tell me about what happened? And so you don't have to tell the story a lot, I asked David and Mary Margaret to stay, and your brother and Elsa should be here soon.."

He nodded. "Aye.. I'll tell you everything I remember.."

Killian held Emma as they waited for his brother and sister-in-law to get there, he could tell she was exhausted. She was being kind of clingy with him, but he didn't care he knew he was clinging just as tightly to her presence.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma stayed curled up against him, listening to Mary Margaret tell a story to prevent an awkward silence. When there was a knock on the door, Emma startled a little. She helped Killian up and took him to answer the door. Before they got there, Liam had the door open and was coming through.

Liam shook his head, stopping when he saw his little brother standing there. "Killian."

Emma let go of Killian's hand as the two brothers wrapped each other in a tight hug. Liam clapped Killian on the back, holding his little brother to him for a long moment.

"Bloody hell, I can't believe you're here, Killian." Liam shook his head.

Killian nodded, and pulled back. Before he could do anything else, he felt a pair of slim arms wrap around his torso. He held Elsa tightly, pressing a kiss to her hair.

"KJ.." She reached up to cup his cheeks in her hands. "Look at you.." She had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Hey, El.." Killian brushed the tears away. "It's so good to see you. And you, Liam.. I believed you'd been killed with the rest of the crew.." He glanced up at his brother.

"We'd believed you'd been killed as well, like most of the crew.. I barely survived myself." Liam sighed, wrapping his arms around his wife.

"The doctors said I'll likely have some gaps in my memory, and when they first rescued me I didn't really know who or where I was.." Killian started as they all settled in the living room.

Emma held his hand between hers, trying to show him comfort through this difficult conversation. She snuggled against his side, wanting to stay close to him.

"Why don't you tell us what you know, and if there's any gaps, that's alright? I don't want to push you, Killian, if it's too hard, don't feel like you have to say anything." Emma said softly.

Killian nodded. "So, you know we left a year ago on deployment. Everything was fine until we were unexpectedly ambushed.. I don't know how long ago that was, but, as you probably know from Liam, we hadn't had contact with anyone for about a month before the attack." He took a deep breath, he had trouble piecing everything together.

"Um, well all I remember after that is waking up in a dark room, missing my hand.. I was a prisoner of war, I'm not sure how long I was there, but they told me I've been gone a year and they hadn't heard from me in about six months?" He shrugged.

Emma squeezed his hand gently. "They tortured you.." She whispered.

Killian nodded. "I was rescued about a week ago, but I had lost my ID so they didn't know who I was until I woke up, and even then I was still confused, that's why no one called you."

Emma nodded, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. "I understand, Babe. I'm just glad you're here now."

He gave her a small smile, he was happy to be home with his family, but he had been through so much, he was still having trouble processing everything.

"Um, I have three broken ribs, more bruised ribs, a concussion, you already know about my hand.. And a bunch of other bruises and cuts. And I'm supposed to meet with a therapist at least once a week. They reluctantly agreed to let me come home, since I hadn't had any surgery or anything.."

Emma bit her lip, she hated seeing him in pain. "We can take you back to the base, or to the hospital if you need to be under the care of a doctor. I don't mind. I'll stay with you wherever you are.."

"I have some pain meds, and I'm supposed to go first thing tomorrow. I have an appointment to start with a prosthetic, and with my therapist."

She nodded. "Alright, I want to go with you. I want to be with you through all of this, I'll call a babysitter, or I'll bring Lottie with us." She bit her bottom lip.

Emma had been so focused on Killian she forgot their brothers were there. They couldn't believe how much Killian had been through, but were glad he was still fighting.

"Oh, Killian." Mary Margaret shook her head. "That's all awful, but we're glad you're home, we missed you."

Killian looked up at her. "Thank you, Lass. I missed you all as well, I think the thought of my daughter and my wife, all of my family, is what kept me alive so long.." He shrugged.

"Elsa and I can help with Charlotte whenever you need. I'm still not working so I have plenty of free time to watch her, don't call a babysitter. As much as I'd like to be with you as well, I know Charlotte would rather be with people she knows, and it's important you don't have to worry about her through this.." Liam assured Emma.

"And if you want her to be with you, I'll come with you both. We need to do what's best for Killian and for her.." Liam shrugged.

He loved his niece, and knew Killian needed his wife with him more than he needed his brother. It was going to be hard enough for Emma and Killian to get him used to doing everything with one hand, they didn't need to also stress about who was watching their child.

Emma smiled a little. "I know she'd love that, Liam.. Thank you, it's sweet of you to offer. We can talk about that later."

Killian sighed softly, resting his head against Emma's. "Love.. Can you get me my pain meds? I left them on the dresser.."

"Of course." She kissed his forehead as she got up. She grabbed the medication and a glass of water for him.

Killian was listening to Liam talk about what he'd been through since they were separated. He took the medicine Emma offered, and she went to check on Charlotte. Emma needed a moment to process everything Killian had told her, it was difficult for her to think about Killian in that much pain.

Charlotte was still asleep, clutching to her stuffed animal. Emma watched her sleep for a moment, taking deep breaths to calm herself. She then moved to her bedroom so she could have a moment alone. She was lost in her thoughts, tears on her cheeks as she stared blankly at the wall when she felt the bed dip and a hand against the small of her back.

"Love?" Killian spoke softly. "Are you alright?" He kissed her temple.

She nodded, turning to look at him. "I'm fine, Babe.. I guess I'm a little overwhelmed, I mean.. I thought you were dead."

He wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumb and brushed her hair from her face, making it a point to keep his stump from touching her. "I understand, it's a lot.. And I know you're worried about me, Swan, but you need to take care of yourself through this as well."

Emma nodded, resting her head against his chest, she hadn't realized she'd been crying. "I'll try, Killian, I promise. I just feel guilty for feeling like this, you were a P.O.W. You were tortured. I went to work and took care of a baby, and I had help.. I don't have any right to feel like this," She listened to his heartbeat for a while before she looked up at him.

Killian leaned in and kissed her softly since they were alone. "None of that makes your feelings any less valid, Emma. You went through your own kind of hell since I left. You spent a year raising a baby alone. And I know you love her, but that doesn't mean you didn't struggle." He assured her softly.

Emma shook her head in disbelief, she was always in awe of him. She leaned in and kissed him again, putting all of her pent up feelings into it. She rested her hand on his cheek as they kissed, she missed the way he made her feel. She pulled back for a moment when she felt him pull her closer.

"Babe.. I really want to keep kissing you like this, because, fuck have I missed it, but my brother.. And your brother." She breathed, they had been in their room for a long time and she knew they could be caught at any second. "And I should probably get Charlotte up or she won't sleep well tonight.."

Killian pressed a kiss to her jaw. "Aye, of course.. Can I come with you to get Lottie? I know she doesn't really know me, but.. I want to be close to my little lass as much as she'll let me right now."

Emma got up from the bed. "Of course, I think she'll quickly latch onto you.. She was a daddy's girl the day she was born, and I don't think that has changed." She took his hand and moved them to the nursery.

Charlotte was half-asleep in her crib, rubbing her eyes tiredly. Emma moved to the side of the crib and rubbed her back gently.

"Good morning, Baby.." Emma spoke softly as she lifted Charlotte into her arms.

"Mama.." She whimpered softly. "Dada?" She looked around for Killian.

"I'm here, Lottie." Killian moved so she could see him, giving her a soft smile.

Emma kissed her head. "Do you want Daddy to hold you? I bet he'd like some cuddles from his princess."

Charlotte nodded, reaching towards Killian. He took her into his arms, it took some adjusting without one of his hands, but he held her against him despite the pain he was feeling. Charlotte clutched at his shirt as Killian moved to leave the room.

"Duckie." Charlotte called, looking up at Killian.

He nodded, giving Emma a slightly confused look. Emma grabbed the duck for her. "Her favorite toy is that little duck you bought after I told you I was pregnant. She doesn't go anywhere without knowing exactly where it is."

Killian smiled a little, it comforted him to hear that even though he hadn't physically been here, Emma and Charlotte had that reminder of him with them always. Killian carried her back to the living room and settled onto the couch. Emma kissed his temple.

"Charlotte, will you be okay with Daddy for a minute? I'm going to get you some juice.."

Charlotte nodded. "Yeah." She was messing with the button on Killian's shirt.

Killian kissed the top of her head gently. "So, Little Love.. Do you want to show me your toys?" He asked her softly. "Or are you still sleepy?"

She rubbed her eyes, thinking as seriously as a toddler could. "Um.. Play?"

Killian nodded and moved them to the floor, settling with his back against the couch. Charlotte let him hold her duck while she went to get a couple toys Emma kept within her reach in the living room. She put them in front of him and sat back down.

Charlotte showed him the toys and babbled about them all. Killian nodded along, conversing like he knew exactly what she was saying. When Emma came back she settled next to Killian's other side, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

He smiled a little. "Hello, Love.. Miss Lottie was just telling me about her dolls, and showing me how to play with them."

Emma nodded. "She must really like you if she let you hold Duckie while she plays. She usually has it in one hand and the toy in her other. Even I don't always get to hold him.." She smiled at him, she was so happy that Charlotte had taken to him again so quickly. "Our family is getting dinner for us, they're in the kitchen."

Killian played with Charlotte for a while, Emma eventually moving to the kitchen to talk with David, Mary Margaret, Liam and Elsa. They were all talking at the kitchen table, they had wanted to give Emma and Killian some privacy.

"Em, dinner will be here soon. We ordered some things from the place you and Killian used to get all the time.." David smiled at her when she came into the room.

She smiled. "Thanks, David.." She leaned against the counter. "Killian seems to be doing well, I think Charlotte taking to him so easily made him happy today."

"Of course, he loves his daughter more than anything. Has since the moment he found out you were having a baby. He deserves to be happy about something, I'm worried he has PTSD.." Elsa spoke softly.

Elsa was a psychiatrist, and she knew that Killian would likely have difficulties assimilating back into his life. Emma bit her lip, she was worried about Killian herself.

"I know, but he said he was meeting with a therapist tomorrow, and I trust he'll go see them regularly. And I know he'd talk to you if he really needed it, El. He trusts you. And I just want him to have someone to talk to, if he feels like he can't tell me." Emma shrugged.

Killian came into the kitchen with Charlotte balanced on his hip. Despite recently losing his hand, he seemed to still be a natural father, easily adjusting to care for his little girl. Emma glanced at them, unable to keep the smile from her face.

"Is she hungry? It's about the time when I usually feed her." Emma asked softly.

Killian nodded. "Aye, Lottie has requested something to eat. Can I sit her on the counter for a moment?"

"Of course, just make sure she doesn't fall off. She's a squirmer." Emma smiled, tickling Charlotte's side gently.

Charlotte giggled, squirming against Killian as he moved to set her down. Emma got her some goldfish crackers from the cabinet to tide her over until she could get her dinner ready. Killian held the container for her as she munched on the snack happily.

Emma made Charlotte's dinner, while David paid the delivery person for their dinners. Killian helped Emma settle her into her highchair and sat with her while she ate. He didn't want to be far from his little girl if he could at all avoid it.

The rest of the group settled around the table with them. Emma sat close to Killian in case he or Charlotte needed anything. She knew he was still getting used to doing things without his left hand.

"Mamamamama." Charlotte babbled, a smile on her face. "Done!"

Emma smiled, and wiped off her little hands. "Alrighty, Baby, you did good today. Will you sit with Mommy while we finish eating?" Charlotte eagerly went to her mother.

Emma had been lucky, Charlotte was an easy baby. She had Killian's temperament, rarely cried, and always ate whatever Emma gave her. Emma loved cuddling with her baby and happily held her while she finished eating.

Once their trash had been cleaned up, their family started gathering their coats. Elsa was the first to wrap Killian in another hug.

"You take care of yourself, and if you need to talk to anyone, you know I'm always here for you?" She patted his cheek gently.

He nodded. "Aye, I will, Lass, thank you." He hugged her. "Thank you for everything you did for my girls while I was gone. I really appreciate it."

She nodded and let Liam hug him next. "We would do anything for them, Killian. They're Joneses." He assured Killian.

"I know, but I still appreciate it. It's clear to me that Charlotte has everything she could ever need and all the love in the world. And that's all I've ever wanted for her." Killian's voice was soft.

Emma came and hugged Liam as well. "I'll call you this week, if I need help with Charlotte or anything. Maybe tomorrow, you could come with us? It's not that I don't trust you, I just want her close while Killian is in the hospital.." She admitted. "And I'll let you know about our usual dinner, I want to see how everyone is doing by then."

Liam agreed and bent to kiss Charlotte's cheek. Killian thanked David and Mary Margaret as well before they all left.


	4. Chapter 4

Once the door was closed behind them, Emma let Charlotte down to play in the living room for a few minutes. Keeping an eye on the baby, Emma stopped in front of her husband. She finally had a moment to just take him in, and be truly happy that he was there with her. Killian rested his good hand on her hip, keeping his stump away from her.

"I still can't believe it, Killian. I don't know when I'll stop getting overwhelmed by the simple fact that you're home, and you're alive.. But.." She had tears falling down her cheeks again.

Killian frowned a little. "Love, Swan.. Please don't cry, I'm here, we should be happy."

"They're happy tears, I promise. I've never been this emotional, but my husband practically came back from the dead. I want to tell you everything, but it makes me sad that you didn't get to see our baby grow up." She whispered, unsure of herself, and hating that she kept crying.

"I know, Love. We'll get there, let's just be happy that I'm here now, that's all I can do at this point. It's bloody difficult, but I have to accept that Lottie is already one and a half, and walking and talking. I can't go back, and we knew when we decided to have a child that I would get deployed during her lifetime, it's part of being a military family."

Emma hugged his torso tightly. "I know, but I had to come to terms with the fact that I would never see you again, I don't know if I'll be able to bounce back from that.." She sighed.

"And that's okay.." He brushed the hair back from her face. "Can we watch a movie or something in bed? I'm exhausted, and I kind of want to just hold my girls.."

Emma nodded. "Of course, Killian. I can't imagine how tired you must be.. I need to get Lottie into her pajamas and ready for bed, in case she falls asleep, do you want to go ahead and get comfortable?"

Killian shrugged. "I um.. Can I help you? If I'm going to be her dad, I need to know how to get her ready for bed.."

Emma kissed his cheek. "Of course you can, I want you to be as involved as you feel well enough for. I'm not going to keep her from you, I trust you completely. She is your baby as much as she is mine."

Charlotte had settled on the floor with a toy car and was rolling it around, up and down furniture and everything. Emma smiled a little.

"Princess, time for pjs. Then we'll watch a movie in Mommy's bed, how about Rapunzel?" Emma scooped her off the floor.

Charlotte grinned and laid her head on Emma's shoulder. Charlotte got her daddy's love of music, and she loved when Emma played movies with songs in them for her. Emma and Killian got her changed and ready for bed.

Emma brought Charlotte's baby blanket and stuffed duck to their room, settling her in the middle of the bed. She turned the movie on before going through her own routine to get ready for bed. Killian settled into his side of the bed, his hand gently rubbing Charlotte's back. Charlotte was contently watching the movie, a small smile on her face.

Killian had his back to the bathroom, where Emma stood watching him for a moment. She had missed her husband more than she was willing to admit to herself, and she hated what he'd been through in the last six months.

She knew he wasn't quite the Killian she used to know, but she didn't care. She promised to love him through everything, and she would help him through this. Killian turned to look at her, giving her a knowing smile when he locked eyes with her. She gave him a tentative smile as she turned off the light and moved to get into bed with them.

"You alright, Killian? Can I get you anything?" She knew how stubborn he was, that he would never tell her if he was in pain or uncomfortable.

Killian shook his head. "No, Love, I'm fine." He shrugged, his hand still tracing circles over Charlotte's back. "I've got the two most important people in my life back, and I'm no longer being tortured. I don't need anything else for now."

The corners of her lips turned down slightly, she knew he was doing what he always did and diverting from the situation. She leaned across Charlotte and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"I love you, Killian, and I'm so happy to have you back to me in one piece." She whispered.

"I'm not in one piece, Love, but.. I love you too, and I'm happy to be home.." He shook his head. "Can I just hold you both? I.. I've just missed being held, feeling you against me.."

Emma moved closer to him, shifting Charlotte easily so they were both cuddled close to Killian as they watched the movie. Killian laced his fingers with Emma's and rested them against Charlotte's stomach. By the end of the movie Charlotte was sound asleep against Emma's chest.

"I'll take her to her crib, Love.. Is there anything I need to know?" Killian spoke softly.

"Oh, um.." Emma rubbed her eyes. "She should be fine, just make sure she has her duck and her baby blanket.. Thank you." She yawned, she'd been half asleep herself, soothed by his steady heartbeat under her ear.

He kissed her forehead and shifted Charlotte into his arms. He rubbed her back as he walked to keep her asleep, he laid her down and made sure she was settled enough.

"I love you so much, Lottie. You're everything and more than I ever wanted." He had tears in his eyes as he spoke. "I hope I'm not too broken, that I can be the papa you deserve to have." He pressed one last kiss to her hair.

Emma turned to face him when he crawled back into bed with her. She laid her head on his chest and held him. "You're not broken, you're exactly what she needs. Today and always." She whispered, pressing a light kiss to his collarbone.

"You heard that?" He frowned, he didn't want Emma to have to deal with a one and half year old and her physically and emotionally scarred husband.

"The baby monitor is on.." She nodded, holding onto his left arm. She wanted him to know she wasn't scared or disgusted by his lack of a hand. "I know you're scared, I am too. When we had her, I thought I could only be a mom because I had you by my side to help me.. But then I had to do it all on my own." She took a breath.

"When you left on your deployment, I assured myself you'd be back soon enough so I couldn't completely fuck up our baby.. But the day they came to the door and told me you were missing, I broke down. I was terrified. I couldn't do it without you." She knew she was going to start crying so she kept her head down so he wouldn't see her.

"Oh, Swan.." Killian kissed the top of her head. "You are and always have been an amazing mom, I know it's hard to do it alone.. But you never would have fucked her up, you love her and you want what's best for her. That is enough."

Emma buried her face in his shirt, she hated that she was complaining about this now. "I'm sorry, you just came back from a war zone and all I can do is complain that I had to take care of a baby. My own baby, who I adore.." She sighed.

"Yes, we went through different things, but that doesn't mean they both weren't difficult." He assured her. "I know I've only been home a few hours, but Charlotte seems happy, loved, and very well taken care of. And that is all because of you."

She looked up at him. "I really don't deserve you, but I'm so happy you chose me." As she kissed him she felt his stump rest against the small of her back.

He kissed her softly, holding her closer. "I know this is scary, and hard, but we're in it together, and I will always choose you." When he realized he'd used his bad arm to hold her he tried to pull it away, but was stopped by Emma's holding onto it lightly.

"Hey, I know you're still getting used to this, and that you think it's gross or something.. But don't feel like you have to keep it away from me. I've got a baby, I'm not squeamish, and I'm not scared of it." She pressed a kiss to the bandages.

Killian nodded, and kissed her temple. "The doctor in the morning is going to re-bandage it and get the sizing for a prosthetic, I want to have something so Lottie isn't scared because of the scars.. There's a lot of scars.."

Emma settled back against his chest. "I get it, I want you to feel comfortable with it.. Let's get some sleep, will I hurt you too much if I lay like this?" She asked softly.

"No, Love.. I'll be okay, I want to hold you like this." He spoke softly.

Emma was out like a light, but Killian couldn't sleep. He knew his sleep would be plagued with nightmares and didn't want to worry Emma when he could tell she hadn't been getting a lot of sleep. He eventually fell into a light and fitful sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Emma woke up to whimpering coming from Killian, he was covered in sweat and beginning to shake. She lightly brushed his hair from his face, hoping to gently wake him up.

"Killian, baby.. You're okay.." She spoke softly.

His eyes snapped open, and he thrashed a little before realizing where he was. "Swan.." He wrapped her in his arms and held her against him. "You're okay.."

She held him as his breathing started to calm. "Shh.. I've got you, you were having a nightmare. Take deep breaths, Killian."

He shook his head, trying to calm himself down. "I.. I thought I'd lost you, that they found me and got you and Lottie." He whispered.

"No one is going to hurt you, or me, or our Lottie. I won't let that happen, not after just getting you back." She ran her fingers through his hair gently. "Breathe for me, Killian. I don't want you to hyperventilate.." She kissed his cheek, comforting him like he used to do for her.

He sucked in a long breath and let it out slowly. "I'm sorry for waking you up, Love.." He sighed. "I don't want to interrupt your sleep."

"It's fine, Babe.. I've got a baby, I'm used to not getting much sleep, and I will always be here to comfort you after a nightmare." She assured him, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

She knew it always used to calm him when she played with his hair, so she continued to do it as his breathing started to calm. He pressed a kiss to her neck where his head had been resting against her.

"I love you." Killian breathed. "Get some sleep, Love.. I think I'll be alright now." He looked up at her. He had missed being comforted by her, letting her hold him and play with his hair.

She settled herself back into bed with her back facing him, and pulled his stump to rest over her stomach. He loved having her pressing back against him and holding onto his hand, he shifted closer to her, holding her tighter to him.

"You need to rest, Love.. Please.." Killian knew he wouldn't get much more sleep himself, but he wanted to be sure she would.

Emma kissed his bicep and kept her fingers wrapped loosely around the end of his bad arm. "I love you too, Kil.." She mumbled sleepily.

Killian tried to relax himself with the sound of her even breathing, but this was the first night he was sleeping without the aid of modern medicine since he was rescued and he didn't want to have any more nightmares.

He spent the night awake, taking comfort from having the weight of his wife pressed against him, thinking about her, their daughter, and everything he had missed while he was gone. Killian always put his family before himself, even if it means he'll be the one hurting.

Emma turned in his arms as she slept, her head on his chest and hair fanned out everywhere. She woke up early the next morning, stretching a little and kissing his neck.

"Morning, Baby.." She had a soft smile on her lips as she registered Killian's arms around her.

He kissed her hair. "Good morning, my love." He breathed. "Sleep well?"

She nodded. "Mmm.. I did, were you okay after the nightmare?" She blinked her eyes at him, still in a haze of sleep.

Killian brushed her hair behind her ear. "Aye, I was alright.. Don't worry about me, Love."

She sat up, taking in the dark circles under his eyes. "You didn't sleep, did you?" She sighed.

He shook his head, he couldn't lie to his wife. She frowned and gave him a soft kiss.

"I'm sorry.. And I'm sorry I'm awake so early, you can stay in bed and try to rest. Lottie is an early riser like her papa, and I've gotten into the habit of waking up minutes before her. She'll be hungry, I can feed her and get her dressed and everything, if you want to try to sleep before we head to the base.." She was rambling now.

"I appreciate that, Love.. But, I won't be able to sleep, especially without you. And, I'd um.. If it's okay of course, I'd like to help you with her. As much as I can right now."

Emma smiled a little. "Of course you can help.. I know this is weird right now, but there is one thing I'm sure of, and it's that I trust you with Charlotte more than anyone else. Whether or not they've spent more time with her.."

Killian pulled her close to him, the movement causing his ribs to ache further. Emma trusted him completely, even though he knew she shouldn't, not right now at least. She held onto him tightly until she heard a soft babbling from the baby monitor.

"Sounds like our princess is awake, Love." He smiled.

Emma pulled away from him, pulling her hair into a ponytail as she climbed from the bed. She slipped her glasses on, turning to look at him when she got to the door. "You coming, slow poke?" She teased.

Killian was sore so he was moving slowly. "Aye, Love.. Apologies, I'm a tad sore from not moving most of the night."

"I hadn't even thought about that.." She bit her lip. "Sorry.."

He shook his head, waving her worries off. "I know you were just teasing. I don't mind the pain right now, it's a tough reminder, but I'm back with you. Just seeing your smile, seeing Charlotte's smile.. It makes me forget." He grabbed her hand as they walked to Charlotte's room.

Emma grinned at her daughter. "Good morning, Princess.. You look like you slept well." She smoothed Charlotte's hair down and kissed her nose. "I missed you." She whispered.

Charlotte babbled happily and reached to her mother, burying her head in Emma's neck when she was in Emma's arms. She rubbed her eyes, noticing Killian standing slightly behind Emma.

"Dada." She gave him a grin. "Dadadada." She babbled.

Killian couldn't keep the happiness off his face, coming closer to kiss her cheek. "Lottie, my love. I hope you slept well.."

She smiled a little, her fingers gripping Emma's shirt. Emma bounced her slightly and went about changing her diaper and brushing through her wild hair. Charlotte was sitting up on the changing table, and reached for Killian.

Killian reached out and took her hand in his, pressing a kiss to her palm. "You seem to have my crazy hair, don't you, Love?" He smiled.

Emma couldn't keep her laugh to herself. "Oh, yeah. Her hair is still short now, but it's definitely going to have curls like Liam's and be as unruly as yours. It's especially bad when she wakes up, sticking up everywhere." She had pulled out her phone to take a picture of them together, blushing slightly when Killian caught her.

"I don't have enough pictures of the two of you together, and.. Well, being a military wife and mother has made me pretty sentimental." She saw his smile widen at her words. "Don't you dare make fun of me, Jones."

"I would never, Swan.. I just never thought I'd see you taking excessive amounts of pictures, or printing them out and putting them everywhere.. It's a good look on you, my Love." He promised.

She shook him off. "Well, I miss her terribly when she's asleep or I'm working, and having pictures helps. And originally, I wanted to have pictures so you could see her grow, even though you weren't here.."

Killian smiled at her before turning his attention back to Charlotte who had begun playing with his fingers. He wiggled his fingers, and Charlotte giggled in response. With Emma's help, he picked Charlotte up and held her against his hip.

"Are you hungry, Killian? I can make something, maybe pancakes?" She smirked a little at him, hoping he remembered the time they were almost caught by Mary Margaret and David.

He chuckled. "That sounds wonderful, Love.. Thank you. I can keep an eye on Lottie, if that's okay?"

She nodded. "Of course, I'll get her some juice and you two can sit at the table. I usually just spend a little time holding her while she has some juice in the mornings.."

Charlotte sat happily in her father's arms, while they waited for breakfast. Emma cut up Charlotte's food and helped Killian move her to the highchair. She ate happily, munching on the pancakes and fruit Emma gave her, Killian watching her, the awe evident in his eyes.

After they finished, Emma sent Killian to get ready to go to his appointments while she called Liam. Liam agreed to meet them, to help her with Charlotte and be with her through these appointments.

As they drove to the base, Killian seemed to get quieter, pulling further into himself and his thoughts. Emma could tell he was nervous and in pain, but she wanted him to know she would always be there for him. She rested her right hand on his leg, squeezing gently to let him know she was there.

He glanced at her, a tentative smile on his face. "I love you, Emma." He spoke so softly, Emma wasn't quite sure she heard him.

"I love you too, Killian.." She smiled.

Killian rarely called her by her first name, always using his little nicknames for her, so she knew he really meant it when he called her Emma. She turned to him once she'd parked the car, taking his good hand between hers.

"Hey, I'm here when you want me, okay? Liam is coming to help me with Charlotte if you need me with you, or if you'd rather have your brother there, that's fine too. But you need to know you are not alone, Killian. These next few weeks or months are going to be hard, but you've got us to help you, okay?"

Killian pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. "Aye, Love. I.. I appreciate this."

Killian had always been the cocky, self-confident one in their relationship, having to convince Emma he meant what he said when he complimented her. Right now, he was reserved and apprehensive around her; scared he would scare her with his scars.

Emma held his hand as they headed inside, Charlotte rested easily on her hip. Liam was already there, waiting for them in the lobby. Killian hugged his brother tightly.

"Thanks for this, Li.." Killian whispered to him as they hugged.

"Aye, Brother. Anything for you, and Em." He smiled, taking Charlotte and the baby bag from Emma.

Killian checked in, waiting for the doctor to come get him. He was exhausted, and in a lot of pain. Emma played with the hair at the base of his neck, wanting to soothe him as the nurse took his vitals and checked his bruising. He winced when she touched a particularly nasty looking one near his ribs.

The doctor came in a few minutes after the nurse left and sat on the stool across from Killian. "You're doing well for having been through what you've been through these last six months, Captain Jones. You're healthier than we could have expected, and that is a very good sign." He gave him a reassuring smile. "I know they allowed you to leave the hospital yesterday, instead of bringing your family there?" He questioned, trying to be gentle.

"Aye, they reluctantly allowed me to leave to see my family. I didn't want the first time my daughter sees me to be in a hospital bed. And I'm glad they did." He squeezed Emma's hand.

"You must be Mrs. Jones, it's nice to meet you." The doctor shook her hand.

Emma nodded. "Emma, it's nice to meet you too.. Is Killian going to be okay?"

"Right to the point, I see. As of right now, Killian, you appear to be doing very well physically considering everything you've been through in the last six months. However, you are still slightly dehydrated and I can tell you are physically exhausted, so I'd like to set you up to rest for a while and give you an IV to help with the dehydration. If that is feasible."

Killian sighed softly, about to protest when he felt Emma press her hand against his back.

"This is a good idea, Killian. You don't need to pass out from dehydration or over exhaustion and add to the pain you feel now." She knew he'd be too stubborn to take the doctor's advice, which is likely how he ended up at their front door yesterday.

He sighed. "What about Lottie, Love? She doesn't deserve to get the short end of all of this.. This mess I created."

"She will be okay, I'll have Liam take her out for lunch, or to the park and I'll stay with you. We are not in this alone."

Killian was stubborn, but he knew his wife was even more stubborn and that he wasn't going to win this argument. He looked up at her, seeing the worry in her eyes.

"Aye, I understand. Whatever I need to do, Doctor." He conceded.

Emma kissed the top of his head as the doctor started looking at the scars on his left wrist. Killian put his good arm around her waist, pulling her as close as she could get with him sitting on the exam table.

"Your scars don't look infected, Captain. We'll change the bandages, and I'll have a nurse teach you both what needs to be done to keep it clean and make sure you don't get an infection or irritation." The doctor had put on new bandages and wrote a couple things down in his chart.

"Is there anything else you've been experiencing? Are you in any pain?" The doctor continued.

"Aye, my ribs are sore, but they're also broken.." Killian shrugged. "And I guess I got this weird pain yesterday, it felt like my hand was there and someone had stuck a knife in it?"

"You have the pain medicine prescribed to you, correct?" Killian nodded. "Good, take that as needed right now, and when you come back for your next check up, we can see how you're doing. Your body has been through a lot, Captain Jones. We want you to take this one day at a time, don't over do it."

"I'll make sure he doesn't, Doctor." Emma assured him. "Is there anything I can do to help him? I'll do whatever I can.."

"Just keep supporting him, which you already seem to be doing a good job with, Mrs. Jones. Other than major breaks, and the minor concussion, he is physically okay. We want to keep an eye on possible PTSD or any other psychological effects of being a prisoner."

Killian sighed softly, he didn't want to have to talk about everything. He remembered more than he was letting on, but he didn't want to worry or scare Emma. Emma rubbed her hand over his back gently, and kissed his temple.

"I can easily do that, Doctor. Thank you for taking care of my husband." She was grateful that Killian had the access to the kind of medical care he might need after everything he'd been through.

The doctor left them, and Killian pulled Emma between his legs. "I love you, Swan. I know this all is a lot to deal with, and you have other things to deal with.. Our baby, work, money.. I'm sorry I'm disrupting everything."

Emma leaned in and kissed him softly. "Nothing, none of that is as important as my husband. While you're in your therapy, I'll call work, and David and we'll handle everything. Okay? I have plenty of vacation days to take off, and we have help to take care of our baby girl. We will get through this, Killian, we have to."

She took a deep breath, leaning into his embrace. "Fuck if this isn't going to be hard, but you're worth it. You're everything. I can't live another day without my husband."

Killian held her against him, he could tell she was getting overwhelmed again. "You won't, Love.. You won't, they're going to discharge me with honors.." He said softly.

She nodded against his neck, breathing in his scent. "Let's get you to the psychiatrist's office, I don't want you to be late."

Emma helped him up, and held onto his hand as they headed back down the hall to where Liam was waiting with Charlotte. Liam gave a small smile when he saw them.

"Hey.. Everything alright, brother?"

"Aye, they want to give me an IV later, I'm dehydrated apparently. Emma wants to stay with me.." He shrugged.

"Do you need me to keep Charlotte? I can take her to the park or something, so she's entertained.."

Emma smiled. "I'd appreciate that, Liam. I don't mind what you guys do, but I agree that she shouldn't just be kept inside.."

Liam nodded and Emma turned to Killian. "I'll see you after your therapy appointment, I'll make sure you get some lunch afterwards, before your physical therapy, okay?"

Killian nodded, kissing her forehead. "Thanks, Love." He ruffled Charlotte's hair gently. "I'll see you later, Lottie." He couldn't help but smile when her little blue eyes landed on his.

"Dada." She grinned at him.

Emma kissed his cheek before he headed down the hallway. She settled next to Liam, and let Charlotte climb into her lap. She rested her cheek on Charlotte's head, cuddling her close.

"Mama?" She pulled back from Emma to see her mother.

"Yeah, Baby?" Emma brushed the hair from her forehead.

"Love you." She said in her broken 'baby-speech'.

Emma smiled. "I love you too, Lottie.. I love you more than anything." She breathed, hugging her daughter close to her chest.

Emma could feel some of her worries about everything melt away with Charlotte's arms wrapped around her neck and her little body cuddled close. She rubbed her baby's back gently, rocking her a little.

"How are you holding up, Em?" Liam asked softly after a while.

She leaned against his shoulder with a soft sigh. "It's a lot, but.. He's healthier than he should be after everything he's been through. But, it's hard.. I know my Killian is still there, I see bits and pieces of him.. But it's like he's scared to want me, or be happy.. And, I just want to see my goofy husband again. I'd do anything to take away his pain."

"I understand.. I know I wasn't the same when I first got back, I know I'm still not the same. But Elsa has been so patient with me, and.. I feel like I'm getting there. I'm happy, I have a beautiful sister-in-law and niece, and an amazing wife.." Liam kissed the top of her head.

"Killian has all of that too, he'll get there.. Reassimilating after a deployment is always difficult, but after what he's been through? I can't imagine.. It'll take time, but Killian's not gone, he's just fighting some demons."

"I know he'll get to a new normal. I know it'll be hard, but having him home, it's all worth it." She messed with Charlotte's hair absently as she talked to Liam.

"I'll take Charlotte, I don't want you to have to worry about her. I'll stop by your place and get some toys and take her to our place. And when you finish here, you and Killian come over for dinner.. I know Elsa would love to have you."

"Thank you, Liam.. You've been so sweet, I know he's your brother and you probably want to be with him too.. But I really appreciate you taking Charlotte and letting me do this.."

"As much as I'd like to be there, he's not my little brother anymore.. You're his true love, he doesn't need me like he needs you." He shrugged. "Plus, I love spending time with Miss Charlotte here." He grinned at the baby when she heard her name.

Liam tickled her gently, getting her to giggle. He lifted her from Emma's lap and blew a raspberry on her cheek, her giggles only getting louder. Emma watched them with a small smile.

"Mama, Mama!" She giggled, squirming in Liam's grasp.

Liam stopped tickling her. "I see how it is, go to Mama when Uncle Liam tickles you." He teased her gently, kissing her hair. "I'll stop, I just like hearing your little laugh." He sighed softly.

"Have you and El thought about kids yet, Liam?" Emma asked softly.

Liam blushed a little, scratching behind his ear in the same nervous tick Killian had. "I.. We know we want them, we just haven't talked about when.. I mean, I've only been home six months.."

"I get it. I know Killian always wanted more than one kid, but.. I don't know if we'll ever get there." Emma sighed. "But, I think you and Elsa would be great parents. I know any kid would be lucky to have you."

"Thank you, Em." He smiled a little. "For now, we'll happily spoil our adorable niece. Being able to help you with her lately, has made me feel closer to my brother.. She helped me heal after I made it home.."

Emma squeezed his forearm. She knew Liam loved Charlotte and that he seemed happier when he got to spend time with her. She never realized just how broken he'd been, and how he'd been slowly pulling himself back together.

"Well, she's always here if you need a cuddle from Miss Lottie. You're always welcome to visit, or spend time with her, she adores you." Emma spoke softly.

Charlotte had curled up on Liam's lap and rested her head against his chest, eyes beginning to droop. Liam rubbed her back gently, holding her close.

"I adore her too, she's precious, Emma. I know you were scared you wouldn't be good enough for her without Killian. But, you did just fine, better than fine even.." He smiled softly.

Emma just nodded, she still had her fears that Charlotte would grow up to be just as messed up as Emma was. She bit her lip, wishing she could be with Killian right then.

"He's okay, Lass. I'm sure he's talking as much as he can, getting the help he needs." Liam could feel the worry coming off her.

She sighed. "I just, I know he doesn't want to talk to me.. He doesn't want me to know the extent of how he's suffered. I just hope he talks to someone, I don't care if it's not me."

Liam wrapped his free arm around her shoulders. "He will. It may not be today, or next week. But he'll talk to someone. I didn't want to talk to anyone when I got back and found out what had happened. But eventually I talked the mandated therapist, and even Elsa."

Emma just nodded, she knew Liam was right; he'd talk when he felt like he was ready.


	6. Chapter 6

Killian wanted to talk, to tell someone about what happened, but he couldn't seem to find the words. He was beginning to regain vivid memories of everything that had been done to him in the six months he was a prisoner.

The doctor just gave him a moment to think in silence, before speaking up. "If you'd like, we can start with you telling me a little about yourself. Your family, where you grew up, what brought you to the Navy, that kind of thing."

Killian shifted his eyes to look at her. "Aye, um.. I think that would be good.." He took a deep breath. "Well, I'm married and we have a beautiful little lass.." He shrugged.

"What are their names?" She was gentle, and Killian appreciated the fact that she wasn't trying to get him to talk about his capture.

"My wife's name is Emma, and our daughter's is Lottie, um, Charlotte.. But I always called her Lottie.." Killian had a small smile as he thought about his daughter.

"That's a beautiful name, how old is Charlotte?"

"She's one and a half now.. I was deployed when she was just six months old.. She's bloody amazing, I.. I can't believe how perfect she is."

She nodded. "Have you been able to see them? Your wife and daughter.."

Killian nods. "Aye, I left the hospital yesterday to go home to them.. They're both here now with me, and my brother came to help with Lottie."

"And how did you feel, when you got to see Emma and Lottie again?"

"When Emma opened the door, I couldn't speak.. I was just so happy." He itched to play with his wedding ring like he used to when he was nervous, but without his hand he couldn't. "I just held her, both of us crying, until her sister-in-law found us.. Then when Emma's brother brought Lottie, and she immediately came to Emma, my heart stopped."

"There were a lot of emotions of course."

He nodded. "I couldn't believe how big she'd gotten.. She was walking and talking, and.. Bloody hell, I immediately felt guilty. She didn't have her father, my wife didn't have me to help her raise our daughter.. A child I begged to have.."

She nodded. "Did your wife not want kids?"

"Emma had.. She struggled with being a mom, she grew up in the foster system.. I was the one who promised her and assured her that she would be an amazing mom, and that I'd always be with her, but for the last six months she's believed I was dead. I left her stuck to raise a child all alone."

"Does Emma know you feel like this?"

He shook his head. "I don't know.. If I know anything about Emma, it's that she would never hold this against me, but that doesn't mean I don't still feel guilty.."

She nodded, writing a few notes. "Why don't we talk about something else? I want this first session to not be too emotional, I just want to get to know you. Where did you grow up, Killian?"

"My brother and I were born in the States, my father was American, and so they moved back and forth often before I was born. But we moved back to where my mum was from, in England, shortly after my first birthday.. Our father was barely home, always working or doing who knows what.. So our mom raised us where she grew up, a small town on the coast."

Killian took a breath. "My brother is six years older than me, and was sixteen when our Mum died. A family member took us in until Liam was old enough to care for himself.. He raised me though after we lost her."

"I'm sorry, were you close with your mom?"

"Aye, she was a great mom.. When Liam had saved enough, he moved us back to the States, and joined the US Navy. When I was old enough, I attended the Naval academy and joined as well. We were sent on the same ship last year.."

"And, was he involved in everything that happened?"

"As far as I know, he and I are the only two from the entire crew who made it home alive.. He's alive, and he's happy, and since he's been home he's been there for Swan and Lottie since I couldn't.." He shrugged.

"Swan, is that what you call your wife?" She gave him a reassuring smile.

Killian nodded, a small smile breaking through. "Aye, Swan is her last name, but I've always called her that, even after she changed it to Jones.. It suits her." He shrugged. "Despite her childhood she grew to be a beautiful, strong, elegant woman. Kind of like a swan.."

"That's sweet. How did you meet Emma?"

"We ran into each other, literally, and it spilt coffee down both of us, staining her white shirt.. She told me she had a big meeting and wouldn't have time to get a new shirt so I offered her one of the shirts I had in my car.. I wasn't worried about getting it back, but then that night I went out with my brother, his wife and a few of their friends.."

He hadn't told the story of how he and Emma met in a very long time, but he was happy to talk about her. Despite the insecurities he now had about himself, and his hand, he still loved Emma and he could tell even after everything, she still loved him.

"Well, my sister-in-law, Elsa, knew Swan's brother, David, from some work she had done for the police, and had become friends with Mary Margaret. We ended up just being friends for a while, we'd both been burned before.." He shrugged.

"I hope I get to meet Emma one day, it sounds like you two have a good relationship.. And based on what you've been willing to share today, I believe that you want to do what it takes to get in a good mental place so you're there for your wife and daughter, does that sound like what you want?"

Killian nodded. "I want to be the kind of father my daughter deserves. The husband that my wife needs, but I'm scared that what I've been through is going to cause problems.. I had a nightmare last night, and I know Emma would never tell me, but I think she was worried."

"Although we haven't discussed the last six months yet, it is understandable that you would have PTSD, causing nightmares and possibly depression. I'd like you to take this week, and kind of keep track of how you're doing."

Killian nodded before the doctor continued.

"If you want to talk to your wife, or any one of your family members about this, I think that would be good. If you'd rather talk to me, you can always call and schedule an appointment, or just talk to me over the phone. Right now, Killian, what's most important is that you don't keep everything bottled up, if you need to let out emotions, do it. If it's just getting some alone time, crying, talking, letting out some steam, the release is good."

"Aye, I'll do my best. And I'll be here next week." He assured her.

"Don't feel hurried to give me details about what happened, take your time, and talk about it when you can. Our sessions will go wherever you'd like them to, or where you're comfortable."

He nodded. "Thank you.." He shook her hand before they moved to the door.

Outside her office, Killian saw Emma following slowly after Charlotte who was toddling down the hallway. He hadn't realized he'd stopped to watch them, a small smile on his face, until his doctor spoke from beside him.

"I'm guessing that is your family?" She smiled.

"Oh, aye.. That is Emma and Charlotte.."

Only a few seconds later, Charlotte turned to head back towards him, and Emma looked up and saw him standing there. She smiled at him, and spoke softly to Charlotte who spotted him as well.

"Dada." Charlotte giggled, toddling straight to him, Emma close behind.

Killian bent down, to meet Charlotte when she got to him. He knew he'd need help if he wanted to pick her up, so he just settled with hugging his baby close. "Hello, Little Love.." He smiled.

Emma smiled at them, noticing his doctor standing close behind. She could tell that Killian must not have shared anything too heavy, since he hadn't completely withdrawn into himself.

As Killian stood up, she could see how he itched to hold Charlotte so she lifted her to her own hip. "Baby, do you want Dada to hold you? I bet he could use some more cuddles.."

Charlotte reached towards Killian, and Emma helped him get her settled against him. She laid her head on his shoulder, seemingly content in her father's arms. Killian held her close, breathing her in for a moment.

"So this is Miss Charlotte, she's beautiful, Killian. I can see why you're so proud of her.." His doctor spoke up from beside him.

He smiled a little. "Thank you.. I'll um, I'll see you for my session next week?" He asked softly.

"Of course, you three have a good day." She smiled before heading back into her office.

Emma rubbed her hand gently over Killian's back. "Did your session go okay?" She asked softly.

"Aye, Love.. It was okay, but I'm glad to be back with my girls." He pressed a kiss to her temple.

Emma smiled. "We're glad to have you, I was just thinking about getting some lunch before your prosthetic fitting?"

He nodded, adjusting Charlotte as she tried to settle more comfortably against his chest. "I um, I'm not sure I'm hungry.." He breathed, he'd barely eaten dinner and breakfast that morning.

Emma nodded, rubbing his shoulder. "That's okay, I'm not going to make you eat if you're not hungry."

He appreciated how understanding Emma was being with everything. "Aye, I'd like to go with you all though. I know you and Charlotte need to eat, Liam as well. And maybe I'll eat a little something.." He shrugged.

"Of course. Are you okay to carry her, I can take her if you need me to?" Emma asked before they headed back to where Liam was waiting.

"No, Love.. She's fine, and she's happy." He pressed a kiss to Charlotte's hair.

Emma smiled, she loved seeing Charlotte so happy with her daddy. They went to lunch and Killian helped make sure Charlotte ate well, still not eating very much himself. He tried to eat a little something, knowing Emma was worried he wasn't eating enough.

Liam took Charlotte home after lunch and Emma went to Killian's appointment with him. As they were waiting, Killian reached over and laced his fingers with hers, resting them in her lap. Emma was surprised, but squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile.

"I love you, Killian." She spoke softly, leaning against his shoulder.

He smiled softly. "I love you too, Swan. I'm glad you're here, I'm not sure I could do this without knowing I have you."

She kissed his cheek. "I'm not going anywhere. There's nothing you could do that would cause me to not be by your side through this. Not when I just got you back."

Killian nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He hadn't been sure about being very physical with her, but he found the little touches and kisses coming back naturally. He'd always been very open with Emma, and he couldn't help but want to kiss his wife.

She closed her eyes, breathing him in. She could tell he wasn't quite as tense as she thought he would be going into this. She was startled out of her thoughts by his doctor coming into the room.

Killian let go of Emma's hand so he could do what the doctor needed him to. Emma traced her fingertips over his back soothingly, like she would for Charlotte when she got upset. Killian talked with his doctor and they took measurements, talked about what he wanted out of a prosthetic.

"Alright, Captain Jones. Once we get your prosthetic in we'll have you start doing some physical therapy to help you get used to doing things, and helping you to adapt some tasks so you can do them without both hands. We don't want to get you in the prosthetic before your scars heal, or you'll simply be in more pain."

Killian nodded. "Aye, I understand.. Thank you."

"Have they showed you how to change the bandages, Mrs. Jones?" The doctor asked.

Emma shook her head. "Not yet, but I'd like to learn.. I want to be able to help him."

He nodded. "I'll show you now, and you can help me rebandage it."

The doctor explained what Killian needed, and allowed Emma to do it, helping her along the way. Killian was nervous about Emma seeing and dealing with the scarring and ugliness his stump presented, but Emma was very gentle and even pressed a gentle kiss to the end when she saw him tense up.

He gave her a small smile, pulling her close when she had finished. "Thank you." He said softly.

She kissed his cheek, and turned back towards his doctor who was writing a couple notes to help Emma remember what needed to be done.

"I'll see you in about two weeks, Captain Jones. It was nice to meet your wife today." The doctor smiled, reaching to shake both of their hands. This doctor of Killian's had been working with him over the last week.

Killian nodded and Emma smiled. "It was nice meeting you too, Doctor. Thank you for everything you've done for Killian."

Emma helped Killian up and the doctor went to get an IV for Killian to help with the dehydration. Emma settled next to him and pulled out her phone to text Liam, she updated him and they talked about getting Charlotte picked up.

Killian reached out and messed with her hair gently. "I guess I'll need to get a new phone.."

Emma looked up at him, she liked when he played with her hair. "We can easily get you one, I know you'll be wanting it if you want to watch Lottie."

"You'll let me watch Lottie?" He asked softly.

"Of course, when you feel ready enough you can watch her alone.. And if you're not ready, she goes to daycare a couple days a week, and Liam helps me out too.."

"Aye, I think at first I'd like to have Liam or someone.. I mean, I don't know if I can change a diaper with one hand, or make her food.." He said softly.

She nodded. "I understand. I told you I want you as involved in taking care of her as you think you can handle. I don't care if it's been a year, she's your daughter, Killian, nothing will ever change that."

He nodded. "I appreciate that.. And I hope you know how much it means to me that she knows who I am, and is willing to let me hold her and play with her."

Emma took his hand and laced their fingers. "Telling her about you, and making sure she knew who you were, it helped me when I really missed you." She admitted. "I wanted her to know you, because I know how much you love your baby girl."

He squeezed her hand. "Aye, she's one of the loves of my life." He said softly.

Emma smiled at him, running her thumb over his knuckles. She'd missed being able to simply hold his hand, or just talk to him. Killian laid his head back and sighed softly.

"Love?" He said softly. "I know I'm not exactly the same as before, but.. I want you to know how grateful I am to have you by my side.. And, well, the one thing that is still the same is how much I love you, and love our lass.."

Emma moved to rest her hand on his cheek. "You may be different, you've been through hell, but trust me when I say that I love you, Killian Jones. I'm not going to leave you because you aren't the exact man you were when you left.. If you were, I'd be more worried."

Killian closed his eyes for a moment. "Alright.. I just.. I wanted to make sure you knew that I'm trying."

She nodded, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I know, KJ." She spoke softly.

He gave her a small smile, holding her hand in his until he was allowed to leave.


	7. Chapter 7

Liam greeted them at the front door of his apartment, Charlotte standing at his feet holding onto his leg.

Emma instinctively scooped her into her arms, kissing the top of her head. Charlotte babbled happily in Emma's ear. Killian assumed she was trying to tell her about her time with Liam. He followed behind Emma as she entered the apartment, kind of unsure of his place.

Liam fell into step next to him. "Brother, can I get you anything?

"Oh, um, I'm alright, Li.. Thanks though. And thanks for watching Charlotte this afternoon."

Liam waved him off. "Don't worry about it, she's very easy to watch. And she reminds me a lot of you when you were little." He smiled.

He nodded, watching Emma interact with Charlotte. Killian wanted to be as involved with Charlotte, but he was scared. Scared he'd hurt her, or he was too broken to love her like she needed.

Liam squeezed Killian's shoulder. "Emma really is a natural mom."

"Aye, she is.. And it makes me happy to see them together, truly.." He ran his hand over his face. "Um, do you have some water, Li?"

"Of course, you sit with Emma and I'll get you some. You're welcome to stay and hang out for a while, Killian."

Killian shrugged. "I um.. I'm not sure I.. Let me ask Swan.." He wanted to see his brother, but he was also beginning to withdraw and want to pull away.

Emma glanced up as he settled in one of the chairs, she rubbed Charlotte's back and gave him a reassuring smile. "Are you alright, Babe?" She asked softly.

"Oh, aye, Love.. Just tired I guess." He shrugged, trying to brush it off.

"Would you like to hold Lottie? As independent as she is sometimes, she loves being held."

He shrugged. "I.. Is it okay if I do? I don't have to, it's fine.."

Emma shook her head. "Of course, holding her always makes me feel better on my bad days.. Maybe she'll help you too." She smiled softly, letting Charlotte down from her lap.

Charlotte toddled towards Killian, stopping at his knee and looking back at Emma. "Dada?" She asked.

Emma grinned. "Yeah, Baby, Dada.. Why don't you give him some cuddles? He's sad and needs some love."

Charlotte held her arms out to Killian. "Dada, up. Cuddle." She tried to tell him.

Killian lifted her into his lap, burying his face in her hair breathing in her baby scent. Charlotte wrapped her arms around his neck like she does with Emma. She did her best to give him a kiss on his cheek after a while.

He took a deep breath, holding his baby closer. He couldn't tell Emma about his fears, but they seemed to fade from his mind when he felt his daughter give him a kiss. Emma brushed her fingers through his hair.

"Do you want to stay and see Elsa, or do you want to head home? Whatever you're feeling up to." Liam said as he brought him a bottle of water.

He shrugged. "I'm tired, maybe we should head home.. If you don't mind?"

"Of course, Elsa understands. None of us want to overwhelm you." Liam smiled.

"We'll go home, and I'll make dinner for us and you can just rest on the couch.. With Lottie, or I can keep her occupied." Emma assured him.

"I'm sure Lottie and I can find a movie or something to watch while I rest on the couch.." He shrugged. "But.. Um.. Can I talk to Liam for a moment before we go?"

She nodded, lifting Charlotte from his lap and taking her into the kitchen so the brothers had their privacy. Liam sat on the couch near Killian, letting him speak whenever he was ready.

"Li.. Talking with the therapist today made me realize that I don't know what really happened to our crew, or you and.. I need to know. Even if it's awful, I need to know." He sighed.

Liam rubbed his hand over his face. "Aye, I was hoping you wouldn't ask, but you deserve to know." He took a deep breath before he began.

As Liam recounted his experience and the information he'd been given when he woke up, Killian's eyes fell closed as his own memories bombarded him with the pain again. He hadn't realized Liam had stopped talking until he felt Emma's hand against his cheek and heard his panting in the quiet room.

"Shh.. Take a deep breath for me, Killian. In and out slowly." Her voice was gentle, wanting to ease him back into reality.

Killian struggled to breathe deeply, trying to slow his breathing. He leaned into Emma's hand, his own grabbing onto her wrist. He was holding onto her, trying to ground himself, and his grip loosened as he began to relax.

Emma gave him a soft smile. "Hey.. Everything okay?" She asked softly.

He tried to nod, letting go of her wrist. When she pulled her hand back he noticed the red marks he'd left.

"I.. I hurt you." He shook his head, moving as quickly as he could from his chair and away from her. "No.. No." He shook his head.

Emma stood up, glancing at Liam briefly. Liam took Charlotte from the room, as Emma stepped towards Killian.

"I'm fine, Killian, you didn't hurt me." She assured him.

"Your arm has finger marks on it, Emma. I did that! You can't guarantee that I'm not going to hurt you again." He had tears in his eyes, one of his biggest fears had come true.

Emma shook her head. "You didn't mean to, Killian. I'm not hurt, and I'm not mad at you."

He rubbed his hand over his face roughly. "Maybe this time, but what if it's Lottie next time? I'm a danger to her, and to you, Emma. You're safer without me, maybe I should stay with Liam for a while."

Emma moved towards him. "I'm not letting you go, Killian. You're not going to hurt Lottie, even unconsciously you'd never hurt your baby. I know you're scared. Hell, I'm scared too, but I want to be by your side as you work through this. I love you, Killian Jones, and nothing you do will scare me away."

"I.. Emma, I can't risk that I'm going to have a flashback and injure either one of you. Please, I need you and Charlotte to be safe. That's all that matters to me."

She moved closer to him slowly, wanting him to understand that she wasn't scared. "I know that's what you want, but I also know that in your arms is where I feel the safest, KJ." She used his old nickname, hoping it would make him smile.

He sighed softly, cursing softly in another language. Emma reached out slowly and took his hand and his bad arm into her hands.

"You didn't mean to hurt me, and I believe you're not going to hurt our daughter. Pulling away from us won't help you.. And, if you're scared, I can make sure someone is always with you when you hold Lottie."

He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Aye.. I, um.. Okay, Love." He closed his eyes as she kissed his cheek, and pulled his arms so they wrapped around her waist. "If you're okay with this, I won't run away."

She hugged him tightly. "It's not going to be that easy to push me away, Jones. I need you, maybe as much as you need your family right now."

He had tears on his cheeks as he lifted her wrist and pressed a kiss to the red marks. "I love you, Emma."

"I love you too." She said softly as she gently wiped the tears from his cheeks. "You've had a long day, let's get you home, okay?"

He nodded. "Can I speak to Liam before we leave?"

"Of course, I'm going to get Lottie hooked into her car seat." She gave him a smile, and pressed on her toes to give him a quick kiss.

The corners of his lips turned up slightly when she pulled back. Liam and Killian sat in the living room again for a moment to talk. It took Killian a minute, but he eventually apologized for having such a bad reaction to Liam's story.

Liam gently clapped him on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Brother, it's understandable. If you need me, please call me, I don't care if it's three a.m. And trust Emma, she loves you and she isn't going to put Lottie, or you, or herself in any danger."

Killian sighed. "It's hard, Liam.. I didn't even realize I was squeezing her arm so tightly, what if something like that happens with Lottie?"

"You'll be fine, Killian. Emma said that she'd make sure someone was always with you when you had Lottie.. And once she has to go back to work, I'll help you. You're an amazing father, and even your subconscious wouldn't hurt her."

"Aye.." Killian said softly. "I'm glad you've been around for them the last few months. I mean, I'm glad I know that Lottie had you when her dad couldn't be here."

"I'll always be here for them, and for you. You should get home and get some rest, we'll spend some time together soon, I promise." Liam hugged Killian tightly.

Killian hugged his brother for a minute before they headed home. When they got to the apartment, Killian went straight to their room and laid on the bed. Emma changed Charlotte and got started on some dinner, wanting to give Killian a little bit of space to decompress.

Once dinner was in the oven, Emma took Charlotte to the bedroom so Emma could change too. Killian was just lying in bed staring at the ceiling, his fingers tracing over his bandages absently. Emma sat Charlotte near Killian's feet while she went into the closet.

Charlotte crawled up the bed towards Killian's head and settled near his head. "Dada sad?" She frowned at him.

Killian shifted so he could look at her. "No, love.. Dada's okay." He brushed one of her little curls back. "Come here, baby.." He said softly, opening his arm to her.

Charlotte snuggled against his chest happily. "Mama?"

"She's just getting dressed, Lottie.. She'll be back, and she'll get you some dinner." He was exhausted and just wanted to be alone, but having his daughter snuggled against his chest made him feel a little better.

Emma came back in her pajamas after taking her makeup off and switching her contacts for her glasses. She saw Killian half asleep with Charlotte clutching to his shirt, her own little eyes heavy.

"Baby.." Emma rubbed Charlotte's back. "Let's go get some dinner, okay? Daddy needs to get some sleep."

Charlotte rubbed her eyes and let Emma pick her up from the bed. Emma let Killian sleep while she fed Charlotte and got her ready for bed. As Emma was rocking her and reading a book, Killian came and leaned against the door frame.

Not much seemed to make him smile, but it made him happy to see Emma with their daughter, she was a natural and it was clear to him how much his two girls adored each other. Emma settled Charlotte into her bed, and checked the monitor before she met him at the door.

"Are you feeling better?" She asked softly.

Killian nodded. "Aye, thank you for giving me some space."

"Of course, I could tell you just needed some time and space. Do you want something to eat?"

He shrugged. "I guess so.. Will you um, eat with me? I'm sorry I pushed you away earlier.."

She kissed his cheek. "I'm not upset, Killian, and I'd love to eat something with you."

They spent that night talking quietly, eventually lying in bed as Emma told him stories about Charlotte. Killian twirled a strand of her hair through his fingers as he listened to her talk, her head resting on his chest.


	8. Chapter 8

Over the next few weeks Killian began to adjust more and more to being home. Emma tried to get some work done at home between doctors appointments and taking care of Charlotte. Killian struggled with nightmares every time he fell asleep, and had a few times where he got lost in a flashback.

Whenever Emma needed to go into the office, Liam would come over to help with Charlotte so Killian wasn't worried he'd hurt the baby. As Emma predicted, Charlotte adored Killian and took easily to him.

One morning Emma brought Charlotte into their bed, and she wiggled until she was settled happily with Killian. Killian rubbed her back gently and looked up at Emma.

"Is everything alright, Swan? You look frustrated.." He sat up, holding Charlotte against his shoulder.

"I just got called in for a meeting, even though I'm supposed to be able to work from home so I didn't really arrange for anyone to help you. And Liam can't be here for at least forty-five minutes, and I don't want to leave you alone with Lottie if you're not ready for it.." She sighed as she zipped up her skirt and grabbed her shoes.

"Love.. Come here for a second." He patted the bed next to him and pressed a kiss to her temple when she sat down. "Lottie and I will be okay. If you need to be at work, you need to be there. I'll be fine for a little while."

"You don't have to, KJ.. I know you're still worried about something happening when you're with Lottie.."

"I've been home five weeks, and she's just like her mum in the mornings.. She's practically back asleep now.. We'll just stay in bed and I'll turn on a cartoon until Liam gets here. I don't like seeing you stressed because of me." He frowned.

Emma bit her lip. "You're sure? You'll call me if you need anything at all, right?"

"I promise, Love. Look, she's sleeping already." He rubbed Charlotte's back gently, her head buried against his neck.

Emma smiled a little at the baby. "Okay, okay.. I love you, and I'm sorry I have to leave like this." She leaned in and gave him a soft kiss.

Killian kissed her back and rested his forehead against hers. "I love you too. Go, Swan, you love your job and they need you."

Emma rubbed Charlotte's back and kissed her before she left them. Killian laid back down with Charlotte curled up on his chest, still sound asleep,his hand protectively on her back. He was scared to let himself fall asleep with her, not wanting to have a nightmare and accidentally hurt her.

He ended up dosing off after a while, waking up with a start during a nightmare. Charlotte was still curled up in his arms, but had woken up with his movement and whimpered softly.

"Dada.." She frowned.

Killian snapped out of his haze when he felt her tug at his shirt. "Baby.." He breathed. "I'm sorry I woke you.."

She buried her face in his neck. "Hungry.." She mumbled.

"Uncle Liam will be here soon, Love, then we'll get breakfast." He assured her. "Let's go watch some cartoons." He carried her to the living room and let her settle on the couch while he found something for her to watch.

Killian was full of tension, worried he had squeezed Charlotte too tightly during his nightmare and that she was possibly hurt. Despite the fact that she appeared to be okay, Killian couldn't get it out of his head that he had hurt her.

"Dada, duckie?" Charlotte asked climbing off the couch to go find her stuffed animal.

"Aye, Love.. Let's go find duckie." Killian followed her to her room and helped her grab the toy.

She clutched it happily, going back to watch her cartoon. Killian managed to get her a sippy cup and let her have it while they waited for Liam to get there. When Liam finally arrived, Charlotte was in the middle of a breakdown because she was hungry and Killian couldn't cook because he was still getting used to doing everything one handed.

Liam let himself in and found Killian pacing the living room, bouncing Charlotte gently. Killian rubbed her back, whispering to her softly.

"I know, Baby.. I know.. But Uncle Liam is here now, we'll get you some breakfast.." He kissed her hair. "I'm sorry.."

"Hi, Little one.. What's got you so upset this morning?" Liam asked softly.

"She's hungry, and I still can't really make her anything.. I think she's just frustrated and still a little tired." Killian sighed, letting Liam take Charlotte from him.

Charlotte rubbed her eyes a little, looking up at her uncle. "Let's get you some breakfast, and then the three of us will play how does that sound, Love?" He asked softly.

She nodded and Liam went to the kitchen. Killian rubbed his hand over his face, he was frustrated enough with himself, and he hated seeing his little girl so upset.

Liam had Charlotte settled in her high chair with a few pieces of banana he cut, tears still stuck on her cheeks, while he got the rest of her food ready. Killian sat next to Charlotte and gently wiped her tears.

"I'm glad you're happier, Little Love." He said softly. "Thank you, Liam.. I'm glad you got here when you did, I was making her miserable."

"It's not your fault, Killian. You're still adjusting, and it happens.. She was likely just more upset because she could tell you were frustrated."

Killian nodded, kissing Charlotte's head gently. "I know.. I just.. I can't even make my daughter something to eat, Liam. How can I be a dad if I can't feed my child?"

"You'll get there.. Would you like to try and cut this banana up for her? Maybe we can figure out a way for you to do it."

Liam helped Killian cut up a banana and some scrambled eggs. He had to have Liam help him crack the eggs and figure out how to hold the pan.

Charlotte grinned when she saw her food, clapping her hands. "Eggs!" She tried to say, looking up at her father.

Killian smiled. "Aye, Baby." He kissed her nose. "I know you're still hungry, so eat your food and then we'll play with Uncle Liam. Maybe we'll go to the park, huh?"

Charlotte nodded, already stuffing the food in her mouth. Killian sat down to eat himself, and Liam grabbed a cup of coffee. The two brothers enjoyed when they got to spend their mornings like this, just talking and catching up.

Killian put their dishes in the sink and cleaned Charlotte's hands and face off when she was done. "Let's get you changed, and then we'll go play at the park for a little while." He smiled.

Liam has been helping Killian learn to change Charlotte and get her dressed with only his one hand, so he only helped Killian when he needed it.

As Killian pushed Charlotte on a swing, Liam could tell he was still in his own head worrying about something.

"Is everything okay, Killian? Did anything else happen before I got here?" Liam asked softly.

"Oh, um.. We were just sleeping some more after Emma left.." He shrugged. "I had a nightmare, and.. I was holding her, and I think I squeezed her and it woke her up, and I.. I'm just worried I hurt her."

"Oh, Kill.. You might have woken her up, but she's fine.. Look at how happy she is right now, she's doing great. You're a good dad, Killian, don't beat yourself up over it, okay?"

Killian sighed. "I guess you're right.. I didn't want to fall asleep holding her because I knew it could happen, and it did and.. I guess I just freaked out. I seem to be doing that a lot lately."

"You've been through a lot, Killian. No one blames you, because we all know that you would never hurt Charlotte, or Emma, on purpose."

Killian shrugged and turned his attention back to Charlotte. He took her from the swings and let her climb up the stairs so she could go down the slide. Liam helped her up the stairs, and Killian caught her at the bottom.

Charlotte loved every second of it, wanting to go again and again, giggling the entire time. After a while, Killian's vision started to blur, and the children's screams changed into his own screams in his ears.

He fell to his knees, his hands covering his ears, trying to block out the noise. He couldn't see the park anymore, he was back in captivity. Suddenly, everything was too overwhelming for his senses and all he could do was cry out.

Liam had just lifted Charlotte onto his hip when he noticed Killian on the ground. He saw a woman and her daughter who lives in the same building as Emma, and had watched Charlotte before.

"Ashley! Can you watch Charlotte for a moment?" Liam gave her a smile.

"Of course, we'll be over at the swings." She assured him noticing Killian, she took Charlotte from him and followed her five year old over to the swings.

Liam rushed to Killian's side, kneeling in front of his brother. "Killian? Killian, you're okay.." He gently placed his hand on Killian's shoulder.

Killian felt like he was back in captivity, and couldn't distinguish it from reality. He flinched back when Liam touched him, thinking it was someone who had come to hurt him. Liam immediately pulled out his phone and dialed Emma.

"Killian, take deep breaths for me.. You need to breathe." Liam spoke gently once he had Emma on the line. "You're having a flashback, Killian.. I know it seems real, but you're home.. You're safe."

Killian stared at Liam, but finally tried to take deep breaths. He closed his eyes for a minute before looking back at his brother.

"I have Emma on the phone here.. She'd like to talk to you, is that okay?" He asked softly.

Killian nodded, he was beginning to calm down some. "Emma?" He whimpered when he finally had the phone to his ear.

"Hey, KJ.. Are you still taking deep breaths like Liam said?"

"Aye.." He sighed, hearing her voice was helping him to calm down. "I.."

"Look around and tell me about what you see.." She encouraged. Emma had left work as soon as the words came out of Liam's mouth. She knew Killian needed her.

"Um.. We're at the park, and there are trees and children, and.. A playground.." He spoke slowly, his mind starting to realize he wasn't back there. "And Liam is here.."

"Good, I know you're scared.. But I'll be there soon, okay? Just keep breathing slowly, and focusing on what you can see around you, can you do that for me?"

"Aye, Swan. I'm trying." He bit his lip, finally looking at Liam again and seeing him as he was really there.

"I love you, Killian. I'm so happy you're home."

"I love you too, Swan.." Just the sound of her voice was helping him, she always calmed him down.

"Is it alright if I touch you now, Killian?" Liam asked softly.

He nodded. "Aye. I'm better, I promise.." He and Emma hung up as Liam helped him move to a nearby bench. "Where's Lottie?" Killian asked, looking around for her.

"Ashley, she lives in your building and has a daughter herself, is watching her.. She's baby sat for Emma before so Lottie knows her and she's safe." Liam assured him.

He rubbed his hand over his face. "Okay, as long as she's safe."

"Do you want me to get her? I'll bring her to you if you think that might help.."

"Oh, I'm not sure that's the best idea." He sighed. "Maybe in a few more minutes though."

Emma immediately came to his side. "Hi, Baby.. Is it okay if I give you a hug?"

Killian nodded, pulling her close to him. "Aye, Love.. I just need to hold you for a minute. I'm sorry you had to leave work for this.."

She shook her head, gently running her fingers through his hair as he held onto her. "Killian, you needed me and you're way more important."

He breathed her in, holding onto her like she was just going to disappear all of a sudden. "I'm sorry this happened.. I don't really know what caused it this time." He sighed.

She pulled back from him and kissed his cheek. "And that's okay. You've got PTSD, Killian, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you."

Killian brushed her hair behind her ear. "Aye, I know.. I um, I think I want to see Lottie now. If that's okay?"

"Of course." She smiled at him.

Liam had spoken with Ashley and brought Charlotte over to her parents. She immediately wiggled and reached towards Killian.

"Dada Dada Dada!" She held her arms out.

Killian pulled her into his arms and cuddled her close to him. "Hi, Little Love." He gave her a soft smile, pressing kisses over her cheeks. "I love you so much."

"Love you, Dada." She smiled, happily snuggling in his arms.

Emma rubbed her back gently. "You're definitely a Daddy's girl aren't you, Lottie?" She kissed her hair. "I'm going to go thank Ashley really quickly, KJ. Liam is right here with you, and I'll be right back."

Killian nodded, trying to focus on Charlotte. Emma headed over to her friend, and thanked her.

"It's okay, Emma. Liam kind of explained what was going on." Ashley assured Emma. "Is your husband alright?"

Emma nodded. "Yeah, he will be. Killian has PTSD and something caused him to have an attack. I'm just glad you and Alexandra were here, so thank you for taking Charlotte for a little bit."

"Don't worry about it. I could tell something was wrong, and I know you and Killian wouldn't want your daughter to have to see her father like that." Ashley squeezed Emma's arm. "You're very strong, Emma. I can't imagine how difficult the last two years have been for you."

Emma smiled a little. "Thanks.. Being a miliary wife isn't easy, but I'm just happy he's back home to me.." She shrugged.

Ashley shook her head. "Don't down play it, I might not have known you before he was deployed, but I'd like to think we're friends now.. You're an amazing mom, and you do everything you can for her and now for him."

She nodded. "I want to get back to him.. Thank you again, let me know if there's anything I can do for you."

"It's no problem. If you need me to watch Charlotte, just let me know. I'm happy to help if I can." Ashley gave her a soft smile before Emma headed back to Killian.

They let Killian sit on the bench for a little longer before they headed back into the apartment. Emma made Killian settle on the couch with Charlotte, and got him some water. She changed out of her work clothes and curled up against his side.

Liam sat with them for a while. "I can go home if you want me to.. I don't want to overstay my welcome."

"You're welcome to stay, Liam. You're always welcome here." Emma assured him. "And I'm grateful you were here for Killian this morning, it means a lot to me to know he has you when he needs you."

"Of course, Lass. I'm happy to be here with all of you. And since I'm not working, it only makes sense."

Killian pressed a kiss to Emma's hair. "I'm just happy you're okay, after the accident and what happened to me I didn't think you'd made it out, Liam.."

He nodded. "How about I go pick up something for us all to eat, and give you two some space for a bit? I can even take Lottie with me if you'd like.."

"That would be nice, Brother.. If Lottie wants to go with you she can, I don't mind if she stays though." Killian rubbed Charlotte's back gently. "Love, do you want to go with Uncle Li in the car?"

She looked between Killian and Liam, and nodded. "Li!"

Killian nodded and set her on the ground so she could walk to Liam. Once Liam and Charlotte were gone, Emma turned to Killian, playing with the dog tags she still wore around her neck.

"I just want to be sure you're doing okay now, Killian.. Is there anything you're not telling me about what happened?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm better now I promise. I'm not sure what caused it, maybe the heat or the kids screaming.." He shrugged, taking her hand into his.

She nodded, lacing her fingers through his. "Okay, well, I'll make note of that for you so you can talk about it with your doctor if you want to.."

Killian leaned in and kissed her softly. "Thank you, Emma. For being everything I need through all of this. I know my life is a mess right now, and it's probably scary to be with me.."

"Hey.." She rested her free hand on his cheek. "I'm a Navy wife, Killian, all of this comes with the territory." She kissed him. "And even though you're the one struggling you always check on me and make sure I'm taking care of myself and that I'm safe.."

"You've always been my priority, Love.. And when we had Charlotte that only amplified, and she became a priority too." He shrugged.

"Do you want to take a shower or anything while you have the time?" She played with his collar.

"Well, I'm kind of enjoying this whole holding and kissing my wife thing, but a shower might be nice.." He said softly, pressing a kiss to her neck.

She smirked a little, running her fingers through his hair. "I don't know where this came from, Killian, but I'll shower with you if that's something you're up for?" She breathed.

He pulled back, and smiled a little. "Aye, Love.." He stood up and pulled her towards the bedroom.

When Liam and Charlotte got back with lunch, Emma and Killian were just making their way from their room. Emma had on leggings and one of Killian's shirts, and was braiding her wet hair back from her face.

Killian kissed the top of her head, just then noticing Liam and Charlotte in the doorway. "How was your trip, Little love?"

Charlotte toddled over to him and held her arms up to be held by him. "Good, hungry!" She patted her stomach.

Killian chuckled softly. "You really are just like your Mommy.. Always hungry.." He held her on his left hip and tickled her side gently.

"Oh, she loves to eat." Emma smiled. "I think it's her favorite part of the day. She always tries to worm more snacks out of me, and she knows just how to do it so I cave."

Killian smiled, settling Charlotte into her highchair, and sitting at the table next to her. Emma rubbed her hands over his shoulders before sitting down herself.

"Did you two enjoy the last little while?" Liam teased gently, winking at Emma. He knew what they had been up to, their wet hair dead giveaways.

Emma blushed profusely, leaning into Killian's arm for a minute. "It was nice.. We haven't really been alone since he got back."

Killian shook his head. "Don't tease my wife, Liam."

He shook his head. "I'm just glad you two are happy. It's good to see you two finally getting back to the sickeningly in love couple you used to be."

Emma blushed even deeper. "Yeah, yeah.."

Killian kissed her forehead. "I'm glad I'm finally starting to feel more like myself.. That the meds and everything else are working."

Killian's depression and injuries have kept him from wanting to be as open with Emma as he used to be, but as he got into this therapy he's been more like his old self. Emma had given him all the space he could have needed to get back into a place where he wanted to simply kiss her, or hold her.

Sometimes Killian felt like he needed to hold her to prove to himself she was real, but in the last few days he'd started hugging her and touching her because he wanted her to know how much he still loved her.

Emma pressed a kiss to his cheek, and slid her arm through his. "We're happy, and in as good of a place as we can be right now."


	9. Chapter 9

Later that night they were laying in bed, and Killian pulled Emma closer to him and breathed her in. "Love? Would you like to do something for our anniversary in a couple weeks?" He asked softly, scared she'd say no.

She turned in his arms to face him, and gave him a soft smile. "Really? Of course, Killian, I'd love to."

"Aye.. My injuries are practically healed, and I should have my prosthetic feeling okay by then.. And well, being with you today made me miss taking you out and the life we used to have.." He shrugged.

"I actually think a date night might be really good for us, Babe. I'll ask Mary Margaret and David to watch Lottie, I feel like I ask Liam for too much help.." She ran her hand down his arm.

He nodded. "Liam doesn't mind, but I understand wanting to ask your brother. You've been really understanding about me wanting Liam's help lately."

She smiled softly. "I totally understand why you want him here, instead of David or Mary Margaret, or even any of our friends. He knows what you've been through better than anyone else, and I know he helped raise you, so it's just a natural thing." She kissed his cheek.

Killian turned her chin so he could kiss her properly. "Aye, Love. I'll make us a reservation for our anniversary. Can you believe we've been married for five years already?"

"I can't believe we got married five years ago. I can't even imagine what my life would be like right now if we had never run into each other that day we met." Emma gave him a soft smile. "I wouldn't have Charlotte, and I'd probably still be all alone.."

Killian smiled a little. "Aye, Love.. I probably wouldn't have survived my tour if I didn't have you and our baby to come home to. I hope you know I consider myself to be the luckiest man alive. I've got two beautiful girls I get to call mine."

"We're two very lucky girls, you know. You're a highly decorated Naval officer, and an amazing father and wonderful husband. I'm proud that I get to tell people I'm Captain Jones' wife." She shrugged.

That night, with Emma pressed against him, her hand resting lightly over his stump, Killian slept without a terrible nightmare for the first time since he got home. Emma woke up during the night, scared something had happened since he hadn't woken her up with his nightmares. When she realized he was sleeping soundly, she let herself relax and fall bask asleep.

A few weeks later, Killian got up early to get breakfast for Emma as a surprise for their anniversary. Although he had been relearning to cook, he decided to go to her favorite coffee shop down the street and get her a coffee and her favorite bear claw pastry. He easily made it home before she was up to start getting some work done, so he brought the food to her in bed.

Emma woke up when she felt the bed move, and his hand on her legs gently. "Babe?" She asked softly.

"Aye, Love.. It's me." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Happy Anniversary."

She reached for her glasses, and smiled when she saw the bag he had set on the bed. "Happy anniversary, Killian.. Is that for me?" She asked softly.

"Aye, Love.. I wanted to make breakfast for you, but I'm still not good at cooking.. So I went to get your favorite coffee, and a bear claw." He shrugged.

She leaned forward and kissed him softly. "Thank you, that was very sweet. Is Lottie awake yet?"

Killian settled against the headboard with her while she drank her coffee and took a bite of the pastry. "No, I looked in on her when I got back and she was still sleeping. It's still early, I just knew you had to go on a phone call for work this morning.."

She nodded. "I know.. I hate that I have this call today of all days, but I know it's better than me having to go into the office all day."

He shrugged. "You have to work. You love what you do, and I'd never ask you to give that up for me. And you're bloody amazing at your job."

She kissed his cheek. "Thank you. I got you a present, but I want to give it to you tonight. Is that alright?"

"Of course, Love.. You didn't have to get me anything, you're here and willing to do anything just to make sure I'm comfortable and handling everything well.." He wrapped his arm around her as she ate.

They heard Charlotte making noise over the baby monitor, and Emma sighed when she saw the time.

"Damn. I wanted to spend time with her, but I need to get ready for my phone call." She muttered.

"It's alright, I'll get Lottie, and I'll get her some cheerios to eat, I know we just bought a new box a couple of days ago. Do your work, Love, we'll be here when you're finished. We can spend time with her then." He assured her, kissing her softly.

She nodded and kissed him deeply. "Happy five years, KJ, I love you so much. Thank you for being such an amazing husband and father."

"I love you too, Emma." Killian couldn't help but smile as he went to the nursery to get Charlotte from her bed. "Good morning, Little Love." He kissed her cheek. "Let's go get some juice and some cheerios, aye?"

She was still half asleep and laid her head on his shoulder, holding onto his shirt. "O's."

Killian loved when she was so cuddly with him, letting him hold her. He got her breakfast and settled with her to eat. She didn't want to sit in her highchair so he let her stay on his lap while she tiredly munched on her breakfast.

Emma came into the kitchen and gave Charlotte a brief good morning kiss before she headed to the other room so she could get her work done. Killian spent the morning playing in the living room with Charlotte before the three of them took a picnic lunch down near the water and ate together.

Killian was glad he and Emma got to spend their anniversary with their baby girl before taking her over to Mary Margaret and David's for the night. David answered the door and let them into the house.

"It's good to see you guys, you look like you're feeling well, Killian." David clapped his shoulder.

"Aye, I am, thank you, mate." He smiled. "Thank you for letting Charlotte stay with you all tonight. It means a lot to me."

"Of course, Killian." Mary Margaret hugged him tightly. "It's our pleasure. After everything you and Emma have been through lately, you deserve to have a nice night out together without worrying about anyone else."

He nodded, and wrapped his bad arm around Emma's waist. He hadn't had the prosthetic for long, and was still nervous about people bringing attention to it. Emma simply leaned against him, and smiled at him.

"It'll definitely be nice, we haven't been on a date since the night before he was deployed.. I never thought I'd get to celebrate our five years together, with you here, Killian."

David smiled a little, bouncing Charlotte on his hip gently. "Well, we'll call if we need you. Enjoy yourselves, and take your time coming to get her in the morning. I'm covering a night shift tomorrow at the precinct, so I can stay with her as long as you need in the morning.."

Emma nodded. "Thank you, David. We appreciate you both taking her for us, she adores you and she's very excited to be here.."

Mary Margaret took Charlotte's bag from Killian and shooed them to the door. "Get going, you two. Have fun, and if you need anything from us or want to talk to Charlotte, just call."

Killian let go of Emma long enough to press one last kiss to Charlotte's cheek and rub her back. "Bye, Lottie. I love you." He whispered.

Other than during his doctors appointments this was the first time he was going to be away from her for an extended time since he got back. Emma knew he was going to miss her, so once they were in the car, she waited a minute, her hand squeezing his leg gently.

"I know you miss her.. She's become your buddy in the last couple months." Emma said softly.

"Aye, she has.. I miss her already, but getting to have time alone with you without a baby to distract us is also something that is really good for our relationship." He said softly.

She gave him a gentle smile. "Can I kiss you before we go home to get ready?" Emma asked, she knew sometimes he needed her to ask before she initiated anything.

Killian nodded, and leaned into her, kissing her softly for a moment. "I love you, Swan."

"I love you too." She smiled, giving him one last quick kiss before driving them home.

Killian wore a dress shirt and waistcoat like he always used to, but kept his sleeves down so that he didn't draw too much attention to his prosthetic. When Emma came out of the bedroom to where Killian was waiting in the living room, he was speechless.

"Bloody hell, Emma. You're.." He rubbed his hand over his face.

Emma smiled a little, blushing slightly. "Thank you, Killian. You don't look so bad yourself. I've missed seeing you in a waistcoat." She stepped up close to him and ran her hand down his chest.

He kissed her forehead, so he didn't mess up her lipstick before their night even started. "Thank you, Love. I hope you like the restaurant I picked, it's that little Italian place we went to on our first date.."

Since he still wasn't driving, Killian couldn't keep the entire night a surprise for Emma like he used to. Emma's eyes lit up when she heard where he wanted to take her, and Killian rested his hand on her waist.

She pulled away briefly to get his gift from the end table. "If it's okay, I want to give you this now?"

"Aye, Love.." He sat with her on the couch, and pulled her gift from his pocket. "Um, I might need help with the wrapping paper though.." He sighed.

"Fuck. Killian, I should've wrapped it differently, I'm sorry, I didn't think about it." She frowned. "Of course I'll help you."

"It's alright, we're still getting used to this.. You go first, Love.. It's nothing special.." He shrugged, he was downplaying it so he wouldn't be upset if she didn't like it.

Emma unwrapped it, and opened the box to find a charm, but before Emma could ask what exactly it was, Killian jumped in.

"I know you still wear my tags.. Even now, with this gorgeous dress you never seem to want to take them off.." He fingered the tags around her neck gently. "Well, that one is for you to add to it.. It's not an official one or anything, but it's got Lottie's initials and birthday and.. Well, I thought it'd be nice for you to add, so you'd have both of us close.."

He knew he was rambling, but Emma touched his cheek. "I love it, Killian, really. It's perfect, and it only makes sense that I add something for her. Thank you, Baby."

She took the chain off and slipped the new charm onto it before putting it back around her neck, holding the tags for a moment. She helped him unwrap his present, and helped him open the small box.

Killian shook his head when he saw the ring inside. "Swan.. Emma, is it.." He looked up at her.

"I know you lost your wedding ring, and that you can't wear it on your left hand anymore.. But I know you hate that you don't have that ring, and that you liked having a symbol of how much I love you, so I thought you'd like to have a new one for your right hand, even if it's not the same."

He had tears in his eyes. "Thank you." He hugged her tightly. "Will you put it on me?" He asked softly.

"Of course, Killian. It's my honor. I almost forgot, but I had an inscription put on the inside.. With our anniversary, and my initials.. Just a little something." She showed it to him before she slid the ring onto his finger, and pressed a kiss just above it.

Killian gave her a teary smile and Emma hugged him for a long moment. The two of them headed to the restaurant, and got settled at their table. Emma knew Killian was nervous about being at such a nice restaurant with his prosthetic.

Emma sat in the chair closest to him, and took his left hand onto her lap while they waited for their food. She told him about the work she'd been doing, and just about anything she could think of as Killian listened, a proud smile on his face.

"You know, I'm really proud of you, Killian.." She squeezed his arm just above the prosthetic. "I know that there's still a lot going on, and you're adjusting.. But, you work so hard with your physical therapy, and being a father.." She smiled at him.

He shrugged a little. "I just want to be the man you and Lottie need, the one you deserve. I'm not the same man you married, Swan, but I hope that I'm still enough."

Emma brushed her fingers over his cheek so he'd meet her eyes. "You're more than enough, for both of us. As long as you're here, and you don't pull away from me, that won't change. And I know that there are parts of you that are still the Killian I fell in love with.." She assured him.

"Your heart, the amount of love you show me and Charlotte whenever you can.. The way you look at me when you think I can't see.. I know that you're not the exact same person, but neither am I.." She shrugged.

He nodded. "I'm not going anywhere, not anymore. Once I'm officially removed from active duty, I'm never leaving my girls again. I love you, Emma, I always will." He pressed a kiss to her palm.

She simply smiled at him. They ate their dinner, chatting about anything they could think of, often coming back to Charlotte. Killian loved to talk about his daughter, the smile never leaving his face as he did.

Once they'd finished, Killian paid their bill and they took a short walk along the water near the restaurant. Emma tugged his arm around her shoulders, leaning into him as they walked.

"Thank you for this, Killian.. I'm really happy that you wanted to take me out, get all dressed up.. You look very sexy tonight, you made me feel sexy tonight." She admitted.

Killian smiled. "Of course, my love. Anything I can do to make you happy, I'll do. And you always look sexy, this dress is killing me right now, but you're also sexy in your pajamas and glasses, with our baby on your hip."

She stopped them, pulling him to her by his lapels. She kissed him hungrily, wanting to be closer to him than she could at that moment. "Take me home, Killian. I want to keep kissing you, but not here."

He pulled back, his hands resting on her hips, holding her against him. "Bloody hell.. Yes." He breathed against her skin.

Emma drove them home, and once their door was closed, Emma was pressed against it. Killian kissed her for a moment before trailing his kisses down her neck. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Take me to bed, Killian." She whispered.

Killian lifted her up, his strength had begun to come back, and her legs came around his waist as he followed her instruction, Emma's lips trailing over his exposed skin as he walked.

The next morning, Killian woke up to Emma's hair practically in his mouth and her limbs draped over him. She was sound asleep, a smile on her face. She looked truly carefree for the first time since Killian had been home. She was relaxed, and Killian wished he could make sure she stayed that way forever.

Emma woke up slowly, cuddling further into the warmth he provided. "Stop thinking so loud." She groaned.

Killian chuckled softly, moving her hair off him. "Apologies, Love. I didn't mean to wake you. I was just thinking about how perfect last night was.."

She rested her chin on his chest so she could see him. "I've missed being able to wake up to those baby blues sparkling at me." She grinned. "Let's make breakfast, and then go pick up our girl?"

"I'd love that." He leaned down and kissed her softly.

Emma grabbed Killian's discarded button-down and her glasses before heading to the kitchen. Killian helped Emma make breakfast as best he could, but he mostly just stood there with a cup of coffee admiring his wife. He had been doing really well the last few days, without any flashbacks and fewer nightmares.

His therapy sessions had been helping him learn to deal with his anxieties, and the unpleasant feelings. When he'd been quiet for a while, Emma glanced up to make sure he was okay, and noticed he had his eyes closed and was breathing deeply.

"Baby?" Emma asked softly. "Kil?"

He flinched a little. "Sorry, Love.. I just.. I was feeling a little overwhelmed." His voice was hesitant.

"It's okay, I know that you can't really control when you start to feel like that, I'm not upset with you. I just wanted to check in on you." She poured herself some more coffee, and squeezed his arm gently.

He kissed her hair before taking their plates to the table. They ate in a comfortable silence, both of them content to simply be sitting next to the other. Killian wrapped his arm around Emma's chair when he'd finished, his fingers messing with the ends of her hair.

"I know we used to go out on dates and be away from Lottie, but I really miss her." Killian admitted.

"I miss her too. I always do when I'm not with her, she's such a dynamic little part of our lives." Emma smiled.

"Bloody hell, that's for sure, Love. I love being her dad, even if I did miss a lot of her milestones." He sighed. "You know, the more time I've spent with her lately, the more I realize just how much she's like you.."

"I see more of you in her, while you were gone.. The parts of her that are you, they made me happy. Even if you were gone, I knew you lived on through her." She laced their fingers together.

He squeezed her hand. "She's my princess." He said softly, running his thumb over the back of her hand. He was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. "Love?"

"Mhm?" Emma gave him a reassuring smile, she could tell that whatever he wanted to say was something big.

"Have you.. Would you.. Do you want more kids someday?" He spoke so quietly, if Emma hadn't been sitting so close she wouldn't have heard him.

"Oh.. I, well, I don't know, Killian.." She shrugged. "I mean, I'm happy with Lottie. But I know when we found out about Lottie, we talked about having more kids one day.. I just, I want us to be in a good place, and I want you to be in a good place."

He nodded. "I get it, I know we talked about having more kids, or adopting.. I loved having a brother growing up, and I know when you found David that it made all the difference, but.. I'm scared. Scared that I'll want it, and then I'll do something that causes me to lose everything. To lose all of you."

"You've only been home a few months, Babe. We have time to talk about it, and decide what we want. I want us to do what makes us happy, and what's best for our family.. Okay? Don't worry too much about it right now.."

He leaned in and kissed her. "Let's go get our baby. I miss her."

Emma pulled back and put their plates in the sink. She changed into a pair of leggings one of Killian's Navy shirts, one of her favorite things to wear when she wasn't at work.

When they got to David and Mary Margaret's, David was on their front porch with Charlotte on his hip as they watched their dog in the yard for a few minutes. The moment Charlotte spotted Killian she kicked her legs against David's side, pointing.

"Dada! Dada!" She had a huge grin on her face. "Mama!"

Killian chuckled softly. "Someone's happy to see us, Love."

Emma nodded. "I see that, she's going to injure my brother if you don't hurry up and get her." She teased with a smile.

Killian moved quickly, taking Charlotte into his arms and hugged her tightly. "Hello, Little Love. Did you have fun with Uncle David?"

Charlotte nodded. "Aye. Fun." She laid her head on his shoulder.

Emma shook her head with a chuckle at Charlotte's choice of words as she hugged her brother. "Thanks for watching her, David. I really appreciate it. Apparently she's more like Killian than I thought."

"Anytime, Em, she's a wonderful little girl. And she's definitely picked up some of the Jones brothers' vocabulary." He kissed her temple. "Did you two eat? I gave Charlotte some fruit, but Mary Margaret was finishing up some waffles and bacon just now if you want to stay.."

"We ate, but if I know my daughter, she's still hungry.. So, we can stay, if you want us to and it's okay?"

"We'd love it, come on in." David whistled for his dog and led them back into the house.

Killian and Emma spent a few hours just catching up with David and Mary Margaret. Killian held Charlotte on his lap as they talked, and at one point began to feel himself being pulled into a flashback and his anxiety.

He tried to calm himself down without scaring Charlotte, but Emma noticed the expression on his face and took her from him as a precaution. Charlotte began to whimper, wanting to be with Killian.

Charlotte could feel that Killian was upset and wanted to stay with him, so she started crying. Emma bounced her gently, torn between comforting her daughter and her husband. David could see her indecision and took Charlotte from her, rubbing soothing circles over her back.

"Shh.. Sweetie, you'll get back to your daddy in a minute.. It's okay." He whispered soft words in her ear as he held her.

"Killian? Take deep breaths.. Can I touch you?" Emma asked softly.

Killian nodded. "Aye, Love." He leaned into Emma's palm when she placed it against his cheek. "I'm fine, Swan.. It's okay."

Emma nodded. "I know, I know." She met his eyes, and smiled softly. "I took Lottie because I know you're scared you'll hurt her.. But she's upset, do you want me to bring her back?"

Killian nodded. "Please? I'm fine, and I don't want my baby girl to be upset."

David let Charlotte back into Killian's arms and she immediately buried her face in his shirt. She sniffled and Killian rubbed her back, cuddling her.

"Dada.. Sad..?" Charlotte asked softly after a few minutes when she had settled herself down.

"I'm okay, Princess. I love you so much." Killian hummed softly, hoping to stop her sniffles.

"Love you." She mumbled and Killian hugged her tighter.


	10. Chapter 10

Over the next few months Killian continued to go see a psychiatrist, and try to keep a grip on his anxiety and PTSD. He still had flashbacks, but he began to recognize the stimuli and did his best to avoid them when he could.

One Friday, he and Charlotte were meeting Emma and David for lunch at a diner within walking distance of their apartment. Just after a waitress led them to a table, someone accidentally dropped dishes startling Killian could feel an anxiety attack starting.

He knew he couldn't stop it from happening now, so he made sure Charlotte was occupied at the table. His vision became hazy, and his senses were over heightened. His breathing became labored, and when the waiter tried to touch his shoulder to check on him, Killian only started freaking out more.

When Emma got there, two police officers were trying to handcuff Killian and a stranger was attempting to comfort a bawling Charlotte.

"Excuse me? What are you doing?" She crossed her arms over her chest, she was upset and freaking out.

"Ma'am.. Please back up." An officer said shortly.

Emma shook her head. "No, that is my husband. Uncuff him, please."

"We can't do that, Miss. He is a danger to everyone here, and is not listening to our instructions."

"Killian.." She moved closer, despite the officer's protests. "He's likely having a panic attack. He doesn't know where he is right now." She knelt in front of Killian, hoping to get his attention.

One of the officers attempted to grab Emma, but before he could pull her away Emma heard David's voice.

"Would one of you like to tell me why you're touching my sister?" He snapped, the two deputies looking up at him.

"Lieutenant Nolan.. Apologies, we were called here for a violent customer, Sir.. And this woman- uh, your sister- didn't listen to our instructions. We also had to call Child Protective Services.."

He sighed softly, glancing at Emma knelt in front of Killian. "That's her husband, and he has PTSD. He gets terrible attacks and your handcuffs are not helping him at all. Remove them. Now. I'll deal with CPS when they get here."

One of the deputies nodded and took the hand cuffs off of Killian. David moved to speak with the customer trying to comfort Charlotte, taking his niece from them easily.

"Killian, I'm here.. It's gonna be okay.. Try and focus on me, okay?" Emma spoke softly.

Killian met her eyes, but Emma could see they were still glossy. "Swan?" He whimpered.

She gave him a gentle smile. "Hi.. Can I touch you, KJ?" When he nodded, she reached out and brushed his hair back from his forehead. "It's okay, everything is gonna be okay, I promise." She kissed his forehead.

It took a few more minutes, but Killian eventually threw himself around Emma holding her a little tighter than he should. Emma let him hold her, burying her face in his neck. She could feel his tears getting her shirt wet, and hear him mumbling about how sorry he was.

"Shh.. It's okay, you didn't mean to.. Everyone's okay, and David's here.. We'll get this sorted out." She ran her hand over his back to soothe him.

David rubbed Charlotte's back gently. "I'm Lieutenant Nolan. Thank you for trying to calm my niece here.. Can you tell me exactly what happened?"

"Of course.. I think it started after some dishes were dropped, it made a loud noise that scared a lot of us. He started having a panic attack, and the waiter touched him.. That's when it went downhill.." The woman told David.

David nodded. "Okay, we'll get this figured out.. How did you know it was a panic attack?"

"I get them myself sometimes.. I was in a bad car accident a few years ago, and I can imagine that having the police called on you during an attack. I'm glad you and his wife got here when you did."

"I am too.. Enjoy the rest of your meal, and if you need anything let me know."

"Of course, Officer. I hope he's okay, I'll do anything I can to help if they try to press charges. He didn't do anything wrong, I wouldn't react well either if a stranger touched me. I'll speak to CPS when they get here.."

David pressed a kiss to Charlotte's hair. "Thank you."

Charlotte had started to calm her tears, recognizing the comfort of her uncle. David moved them closer to Emma and Killian, wanting to check on his brother-in-law. Emma had moved into a chair next to him, and was gently messing with his fingers.

"Hey there.." He said softly. "Everything okay?"

"Aye, Dave.. I'll be okay in the end." Killian had his bad arm wrapped around Emma's waist.

He nodded. "Well, I have a little girl here who I think needs some cuddles from her parents."

Emma immediately took Charlotte, cuddling her close. She wiped her cheeks with her thumb gently. "Hi, Beautiful.. I love you so much."

"Mommy." She whimpered. "Dada okay?"

"He's okay, Lottie. Remember we talked about how some times Daddy gets scared?" Emma asked softly.

"Aye.." Charlotte said softly. "Cuddle Dada?"

Killian reached his good hand out, and messed with Charlotte's hair. "Aye, Princess.. I'd love some cuddles."

Charlotte climbed over Emma's lap and into Killian's, burying her face into his neck. Killian rubbed her back, rocking her gently. Emma turned from them to David after a moment.

Emma was livid at the situation, she knew that the handcuffs only made everything worse for Killian. "David, my husband was a prisoner of war. Those handcuffs only made it worse, and he wasn't being violent or lashing out. I'm pissed."

"I know, Em.. I don't want to worry you, but they called CPS.." He sighed. "Stay with your family, and I'm going to go talk to the manager and the employee. We'll get this handled, but Killian needs you to just support him right now."

She had tears in her eyes as she nodded and David pressed a kiss to her forehead. Emma turned back to Killian, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

"How are you feeling, KJ? Can I get you anything?" She asked softly.

Killian had been murmuring to Charlotte. "I, um, I'm alright, Swan.. I've been better, but I'm glad you're here." He sighed. "This was my biggest fear, and it happened, Emma. They're going to try and take Lottie from me." A tear fell down his cheek.

"I won't let that happen, Killian. I promise you that." She wiped his cheek. "You're the best father, and it isn't your fault that you have PTSD, or that you had an attack."

Killian nodded a little, adjusting Charlotte against him. "I.. I'm glad David is here. That they knew who he was."

Emma kissed his cheek. "I know, I am too. We'll get to go home soon, I'm going to take the rest of the afternoon off and we can cuddle our girl on the couch all night."

Killian nodded, Emma only moved when CPS got to the restaurant. She and David spoke to the worker.

"We can't leave the child with him until our decision is made, Ma'am."

"Fine." Emma rolled her eyes. She talked quietly to Killian as she lifted Charlotte into her arms, Killian buried his face in his hands.

Emma bounced Charlotte gently as she listened to the social worker talk to David before asking Emma some questions.

"This is your daughter, correct?"

"Yes, this is my daughter Charlotte." Emma rubbed her back. "Can we please hurry this up so we can get back to her Daddy?"

"I just have to ask some questions, make sure that this is the safest place for her." The woman made a note and gestured towards a table. "Let's sit."

Emma sat next to David, she knew how this worked. Emma answered all of the questions, and gave the case worker all of the information she could need to do her job and leave. The woman eventually left them alone, and Emma immediately took Charlotte back to Killian. She could tell that she was upset and wanted to be held by her dad.

Emma took them home, and David brought food for them so they didn't have to stay there any longer.

"Why don't you go put on something more comfortable, Killian, maybe wash your face and just take a minute?" Emma spoke softly, setting the diaper bag on the counter.

He nodded. "Aye, um.. Can I kiss you first?" He asked softly.

Emma gave him a soft smile, stepping into his space and resting her hands on his hips. "Of course, you can kiss me whenever you want to."

Killian kissed her softly, his hand resting against the small of her back. "I love you, thank you for believing in me."

"I love you too, I will always believe in you, Killian. Take a minute, Lottie and I will be here when you're ready."

Killian took a brief shower, hoping to wash the feeling off of him. He put on a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt, messing with his wet hair. He took a minute to text Liam, assuring him he was fine, but letting him know what happened that day.

When David got there, and Killian was still in the room Emma came to check on him. She sat next to him on the bed, rubbing his back gently.

"Hey, you okay?" She asked softly.

He nodded. "I will be, Love. I'm sorry that this happened, and that you had to deal with CPS.. I know you aren't their biggest fans.."

She shook her head. "Hey, it's not your fault.. I know you have PTSD, and that you can't always control it." She laced her fingers through his. "And I deal with CPS at work, and I would die before I let them take Charlotte from you, or from me."

Killian rubbed his hand over his face. "I'm sorry that I'm not the man you fell in love with, Emma.. I'm sorry that I make your life even more difficult. I know you have your own shit that you have to deal with, and simply because you married me you have to deal with my shit too."

"Killian.." Emma frowned. "When I married you, I knew that you were in the Navy. I understood what that could mean for us and our relationship. Yes, I have my own shit, my issues and mental health. But there is no one else's shit that I'd ever want to deal with than yours."

"You didn't sign up for the PTSD and anxiety and depression.. You could've had a completely well adjusted husband and had completely well adjusted children.."

"We all know I'm not well adjusted, Killian. I don't know if any kid that is mine would be well adjusted either." She kissed the back of his hand. "But, I think Lottie is doing pretty damn good. She's brilliant, and kind, and she absolutely adores you."

He frowned. "Bloody hell, Emma.. I just.." He finally met her eyes, tears on his cheeks. "I don't know what to do."

Emma pulled him into her arms, holding him tightly. "Shh.. It's okay, Babe. You don't have to know what to do, I'm right here. We will get through this, together, and nothing is going to take me away from your side." She kissed his temple. "Hell, half the time I don't know what to do either.."

Killian rubbed his hand over her back. "I love you.." He whispered. "Um, can we eat? I need to eat to take my medicine.."

**Thank y'all for reading and reviewing! This chapter was my attempt at some angst, I hope I was successful. **


	11. Chapter 11

The Navy gave Killian a couple awards for his bravery and everything he'd done. Killian didn't feel like he deserved anything, not when their entire crew was dead. He wore his dress whites, and stood next to Liam. He was uncomfortable, and he itched to take Charlotte from Emma and cuddle her close.

When he met Emma's eyes she gave him a reassuring smile and got Charlotte to give him a small wave. He relaxed a little, focusing on his girls until it was over. Afterwards, Emma set Charlotte down to toddle over to him, knowing it would make him smile.

He bent down and pulled Charlotte close to his chest. "Little Love." He kissed her cheek, lifting her to his hip and reaching his hand towards Emma.

"I'm proud of you, Killian.. I know you hate this attention, but I'm proud to be your wife." She said softly.

He kissed her hair. "Aye, I do hate this.. But.. Thank you." He sighed softly.

"Can I.. Can I kiss you?" She asked softly, pressing up on her toes at his small nod.

"Brother, would you like to get lunch with Els and I? We were thinking that little diner Emma loves?" Liam asked as he approached them.

Killian turned to him, adjusting Charlotte on his hip. "Um, aye.. If that's okay with you, Swan?"

Emma nodded. "That sounds great, I know neither of you like all of this attention. But, I think we should celebrate.." Emma shrugged. "Even if we're just celebrating the fact that you're here, and you're healthy."

"Thank you, Lass." Liam hugged her.

At lunch, Charlotte insisted on sitting on Killian's lap, coloring with him on the kids menu. He was mostly quiet, just acknowledging Charlotte when she would tell him something. After they finished their food, a couple stopped by their table.

"We just wanted to thank you for your service.. My wife's brother was killed during his tour, and seeing you with your families.. We have paid for your meal."

Killian glanced up at them, swallowing thickly. "Aye, um, you didn't have to do that.. But, I'm sorry about your brother, Lass, we've lost too many good men and women.."

"Oh honey, it's the least we could do. It made me happy to watch you with your daughter.. I know the kinds of sacrifices your families must have made.." The women gave him a small smile.

Emma squeezed his shoulder gently, she knew he and Liam were uncomfortable when people thanked them. "It's very kind of you.. We really appreciate your generosity. These two are just very modest."

"I get it.. We'll let you get back to your meal, I hope you all have a lovely day.." The couple left them alone and Killian visibly relaxed.

Liam sighed softly. "I know you hate being thanked for your service, Killian.. But it happens, they were just being nice.."

"I know, I know.." He ran his hand over his face. "I hate wearing this uniform in public. People thank me for something they have no experience with and it pisses me off."

Emma took his hand into hers. "Let's head home, I think an afternoon spent playing with Lottie would be good for us, maybe we can take her to the park?"

He smiled a little. "Aye, Sweetheart.. I'd like that." He pressed a kiss to Charlotte's hair.

Eventually, Emma went back to work full time at Killian's encouragement. Charlotte went to daycare a couple days a week, and Killian was able to take care of Charlotte almost by himself, but usually he and Liam spent their days together with her.

It was just before Charlotte's second birthday when Killian and Liam were both officially discharged from active duty with high honors.

The night before Charlotte's birthday, Killian was plagued with terrible nightmares. He barely slept, and ultimately ended up sitting alone in the living room just looking out the window. When Emma woke up and found his side of the bed cold, she went in search of him.

"Killian?" She spoke softly, not wanting to scare him.

"Aye, Love?" He turned to look at her, his fatigue clear on his face.

She came and rubbed his shoulder gently. "Are you okay? You look exhausted.."

"I had a lot of nightmares, so I gave up trying to sleep. I didn't want to wake you, so I came out here.." He shrugged. "I'm okay, Love, you can go back to bed if you want to."

Emma ran her fingers through his hair, ignoring him telling her to go to bed. "Can you believe our baby girl is two today?" She asked softly.

Killian took that as a sign that she wasn't going to go back to bed and pulled her onto his knee. "It's hard to believe.. She's so grown up." He kissed her neck.

She nodded. "She is, and it's amazing to see the little person she's becoming. I'm happy she gets to spend her birthday surrounded by so much family. Something neither of us had as children."

He wrapped his bad arm around her waist. "Aye, Sweetheart. It'll be a good party, I know both of our brothers will spoil her. Just like we do. And it'll be good to see Robin, Regina, and Roland."

Emma nodded, resting her hand over his stump. "Yeah, I know it's been almost six months since you got home, but you haven't really seen any of your friends.. And since she's only two, this is really for us to celebrate her.." Emma shrugged.

He tensed a little when she touched his arm, but slowly relaxed as she gently massaged it, soothing some of the irritation. He leaned his head against her as they sat there quietly, watching the sun slowly rise out their window.

Emma yawned, and snuggled into his arms beginning to fall back asleep on his lap. After a while, Killian took her back to bed and went to check on Charlotte. When he saw her in her bed awake, he lifted her into his arms and took her to their room so the three of them could cuddle together.

When Emma woke up the next time, it was because there was a foot sticking into her side and a little hand tugging at her shirt. She couldn't keep the smile from her face when she looked at the way Charlotte and Killian had both cuddled up to her.

Emma had been Killian's rock through his recovery, but she still struggled with her own fears about losing him and all of the emotions she'd been through since he was deployed. She still saw her therapist every few weeks, to make sure she was keeping up with her own emotions.

She kissed Charlotte's forehead, noticing Killian had finally fallen asleep. She let them sleep as long as she could before they needed to get everything ready for Charlotte's birthday.

David and Mary Mararget came over early to help them get ready, Mary Margaret had insisted on helping with the food. David shooed Emma to their room so she could shower and get ready, while he took Charlotte to get her dressed in the outfit Emma had laid out.

"Happy birthday, Charlotte." David kissed her cheek when he'd finished getting her changed.

Killian helped Mary Margaret as best he could and talked to his sister-in-law as they worked. Mary Margaret could see the tiredness in Killian's eyes, but knew it was safer not to ask so she simply poured him a cup of coffee.

"Sit, Killian. I've got this, you need some more coffee. We can't have you falling asleep on your baby girl's birthday." She smiled.

Killian chuckled a little. "Thank you, M.. You really didn't have to make all this food for us, but I know I appreciate it since I still can't cook much."

"It's no big deal, you know I enjoy making food and having people over.. And I knew that it would mean a lot to you and Emma." She shrugged. "This is a big day for this family.. You're home, and you're healthy.. And your daughter is two and has her daddy here to celebrate."

He nodded. "Aye, it is a big day.. I just hope I can make it through without anything happening. I don't want Emma to have to worry about me today, I want it to be happy for her.. Time we spend with our family and friends, celebrating the fact that we were, well she was, able to keep our daughter alive for two whole years." He admitted softly.

"It will be okay if something happens, Killian. Emma's your wife, and she understands. And Charlotte's too young to really remember, so don't stress about it, okay?" Mary Margaret rubbed his arm. "Why don't you go get ready, and take a minute alone with your wife.."

Killian nodded and headed back to their bedroom. Emma had gotten dressed in a pair of jeans and a blouse that Killian always loved on her, and was blow drying her hair. When she felt him staring at her she shut off the hair dryer and smiled at him.

"Hey.. Do you need the bathroom? I can move.."

Killian shook his head. "I'll shower, but you don't need to leave, Swan, nothing you haven't seen before." He teased as he stepped up behind her and pulled her into his arms.

"I hope you know how much I love you, Emma." He said softly.

She leaned into him, a smile on her face from his joke. "I know, Kil.. I love you just as much."

Killian nodded, and kissed her hair. "You look absolutely gorgeous today, Love. You know I love that top on you, I like the way it makes your eyes look.." He said softly.

"Thanks, Babe. I like the way it looks on me, and I like the way you can't keep your eyes off of me when I wear it. I'll lay some clothes out for you while you're getting ready, and I'll have your prosthetic ready too."

Killian simply kissed her cheek again and got in the shower. Emma was glad to have David and Mary Margaret there to help them, she knew she would have been too stressed about the day otherwise.

She was always sure to keep an eye on Killian, reading his moods and the ways he talked to her. He'd been more reserved since his PTSD attack at the diner, and Emma knew he still felt bad about it. Since they had met, Killian was only ever talkative around her and Liam, but since he came back she felt like he was pulling further into himself.

Emma picked out a shirt she knew Killian would be comfortable in and covered part of his prosthetic, so he didn't feel self conscious around their friends. As she finished doing her hair, Emma couldn't help but think about how different today felt compared to Charlotte's first birthday.

She had barely been able to get herself out of bed, and only made it through the day because of her brother. David had taken it upon himself to get Charlotte a cake, and had Emma and Elsa over to their house for the day.

Emma was happier today, knowing that Charlotte now had her Uncle Liam and her father there to celebrate with her. Killian got dressed and was combing through his hair when she finished her makeup.

"You look good, Killian." She smiled. "Today is going to be a good day, no matter what happens, because you're here and our baby is healthy.."

He simply nodded and lead her to the living room. Killian gravitated towards Charlotte, scooping her into his arms and spinning her around.

"Happy birthday, Lottie!" He smiled at her, tickling her side to make her giggle. "Do you know how old you are today?"

"Birthday! Two." She smiled, proud of herself.

Killian had been teaching her all week how old she was going to be, and couldn't help but kiss her cheeks. "That's right, Lass. You're two. Such a big girl now."

Killian spent most of his day with Charlotte in his arms or with his attention focused on her. Emma could tell he felt like if he ever got too far, it would be too good to be true and he'd wake up and be back as a prisoner. Despite how he was feeling, Killian was glad to see his friends, and spend time with everyone altogether.

"Hello, Mate. It's really good to see you." Killian's best friend, Robin greeted him at the door. "And hello, Miss Charlotte. Happy birthday." He smiled at the little girl in Killian's arms.

"It's good to see you too, Robin. I'm happy you and Regina were able to come today, it's been too long." Killian smiled.

"It's our pleasure, who could pass up an opportunity to see this little lass?" Robin smiled.

Regina hugged Killian. "We're happy we could make it. I'll let you and Robin catch up, and I'll go find Emma." She gave him a small smile.

Regina wasn't the easiest person to be friends with, but she and Killian always seemed to have an agreement. They both cared for Robin, and Robin's son Roland, so they managed to get along well enough.

Killian and Robin talked while Charlotte played in front of them with Roland and David. The moment Charlotte heard Liam's voice at the door, she left her toys and ran to him. Liam knelt down to her level and squeezed her tightly.

"Happy Birthday, Little Love." He grinned, kissing her nose as Charlotte giggled.

Killian hugged Elsa, knowing there was no prying Charlotte from her uncle now. "Thanks for coming, Els." He said softly.

"Of course, Killian. I know we see each other a lot, but today is a special day. I can't believe how much she's grown.. I know she was happy before, but since you've been home.. I can tell that she's thriving."

"Aye, I like to think she's doing well.. Not too traumatized by me." He shrugged. "Come on in, Lass. The food is in the kitchen, and I think everyone's in the living room."

Elsa kissed his cheek, and headed to get some food. Liam had Charlotte on his hip and went to get himself something to eat, and Charlotte some juice at her request. Killian went to the living room, and sat with Emma.

Emma could feel the tension in him, and sat closer to him, pulling his bad arm tighter around her waist. She felt him press a kiss to the top of her head and some of the tension left his body.

"Where's the birthday girl?" She asked softly, meeting his eyes.

"With Liam, she heard him and there was no stopping her." He chuckled.

Emma smiled. "She does love her uncles, doesn't she?"

"Of course she does, Lass. Her uncles are the best." Liam teased as he sat down on Emma's other side.

"Oh, I know they are. She would not be as happy and brilliant as she is without both of you."

Charlotte settled onto the couch between Emma and Liam, wanting to be close to Emma too. The group of adults talked for a while, simply eating and enjoying the company. Charlotte was happy the entire time, getting everyone, even Regina, to play with her at some point.

She sat on Killian's lap while she opened the presents everyone had brought for her, even though Emma had insisted they didn't need to get her anything. She was getting tired, so she simply snuggled into his arms.

Killian kissed her hair. "You can sleep, Love. We'll be here when you wake up." He spoke softly, his hand rubbing her back gently.

She grabbed onto his prosthetic and held onto it as she fell asleep. Killian had tried to keep her from really noticing his lack of a hand, and she had never tried to hold onto it before. Emma noticed her grip and met Killian's eyes.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly.

He nodded. "Aye, Swan. Just surprised, but she's okay. I just want to let her sleep." He shrugged.

Emma nodded. "Just let me know, okay? If it's too much I'll take her to her room."

"I don't mind, I like when she wants to cuddle me." He shrugged.

"Are you still working at the same firm, Emma?" Robin asked as they sat around talking.

"Yeah, I am.. I couldn't imagine leaving, not after how generous and considerate they've been this last year. They've let me work from home a lot, and take off more than I should be able to, just so I could take care of Charlotte, and adjust to having Killian home.."

"That's good. I'm sorry we haven't been very available for you both, we didn't want to overwhelm Killian." He apologized.

"Don't worry, Robin, I understand. You checked in on us." Emma shrugged.

"Aye, Mate. No worries, it's been an overwhelming six months. I appreciate that you didn't want to only add to that for me. But I am glad you came today, even though it was for a two year old's birthday."

The rest of the day went well for Killian, whenever he began to feel overwhelmed he was able to calm himself. Robin and Regina were the first to leave, needing to take Roland home. Mary Margaret insisted on cleaning everything up, even at Emma's insistence that she could handle it.

Charlotte had all of her uncles' attention, not letting either one do anything but play with her. Elsa stood with her brother-in-law watching Liam with Charlotte.

"Liam wants kids, doesn't he?" Elsa asked softly, leaning against his arm.

"Aye, lass. I think he does, but he would also never pressure you into it. He adores you, you know that right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I do.. I think I want kids, and especially when I see him with Lottie, I know that he'd be amazing."

Killian kissed her hair. "You'd be amazing too. Liam might spend more time with Lottie, but you're good with her and I know it'd only be better if it was your own baby."

Elsa smiled a little. "Thanks, Killian. For what it's worth, you're doing really well. I'm proud of you for working so hard and for trusting Emma and Liam to help you."

"It's not been easy, but they make it very difficult to pull away. Charlotte makes it difficult for me to pull away from everyone. She and Emma are my entire world, and I knew that if there was something I could do I had to do everything in my power to do it." He shrugged.

She nodded. "I get it. You're a good man, and the strongest person I know. We should let you two spend some time with Lottie, I'll go see if I can get Liam."

It took some convincing, but Charlotte finally let Liam and David go, saying goodbye with tight hugs. Killian held her as she sniffled softly, sad that they had to leave.

"You'll see them soon, Baby. I promise." Emma rubbed her back.

She nodded, rubbing her eyes. "Okay, Mama." She said softly.

Emma shut the door behind their family, and Killian swayed Charlotte gently. She held onto him, burying her face in his neck.

"How about we have a little cake, Love?" He asked softly, kissing her hair.

She looked up at him and nodded. Emma brushed the tears from her cheeks before they headed to the kitchen.

"Do you want Daddy to hold you, or do you want to sit on the counter?" Emma asked with a smile.

"Dada.."

Killian rubbed her back gently, leaning against the counter. "Did you have a good day, Princess?"

She smiled. "Aye, fun, Dada. Cake!" She giggled.

"Cake was your favorite part?" He asked.

"Um, no. Unk Li and Unk Dave!"

"I know they enjoyed playing with you." He smiled. "Can we take our cake to bed and watch a movie, Swan?"

She nodded. "I think that's a perfect idea. Let's get our birthday girl into her pajamas first in case she falls asleep."

Killian nodded and changed Charlotte. The three of them spent the evening together in Emma and Killian's bed, watching movies. That night was the happiest Killian had been in a long time, he fell asleep during the movie with Emma cuddled against his side and Charlotte lying on top of his chest.


	12. Chapter 12

Over the next few months, Killian started to get restless staying home all of the time and found himself wanting something to do when he wasn't with Charlotte. Before he lost his hand he used to play the guitar or sketch, but now he couldn't play guitar and was scared to let himself sketch again.

He slowly got used to drawing again, often sketching out images of Emma or Charlotte. The action of drawing kept his hand busy, and his mind off of all the dark thoughts he had running through his head when he was alone.

One day he was so lost in his drawing that he didn't notice when Emma came home after picking Charlotte up from preschool. He was startled out of his thoughts when he felt Charlotte crash into his legs with a giggle.

"Dada, we're home!" She grinned.

Killian smiled as he lifted her onto his lap. "Hello, Love. I missed you today." He kissed her hair.

"Miss you too."

Emma came up behind him and ran her fingers through his hair, leaning down to kiss his cheek. "Hey, Babe.. How's your day been?" She glanced at the image he'd been messing with, a small smile on her face.

"Good, Love.. I thought Liam was picking her up today?" He asked softly, worry in his eyes.

"Oh, I wasn't feeling well so I left work early and picked her up." She shrugged. "I'm fine though, so don't freak out." She assured him.

He nodded. "Oh, alright, Swan.. If you're not feeling well, maybe you should lie down."

She sighed softly. "I, um.. I guess I will. Are you okay with Lottie for a while? I can have her lie down with me if you need some time?"

"Aye, Love. Lottie and I will be fine, I was just drawing to keep my hands busy. You need to take care of yourself too, and I can watch our daughter.." He assured her.

She let him kiss her cheek. "Thank you, I like this one.." She said softly, she could tell it was a drawing of her and Charlotte cuddled together asleep on the couch. "I'm just feeling a little nauseous. I'm sure it'll go away soon."

"Thanks, Love.." He blushed, the tips of his ears turning red. "Go lie down, and I'll bring you a cup of tea. Lottie and I will let you have some time alone." He lifted Charlotte to his hip and shooed Emma to their bedroom.

He and Charlotte made her a cup of tea, and Charlotte insisted that Emma have some crackers as well. Charlotte carried the bowl of crackers to Emma's side of the bed, and Killian set her mug down on the nightstand.

Emma had cuddled into the blankets, and smiled a little when she saw them. "Thank you both.. I don't know why I feel like this, but I'm sure it's just a bug or something, Killian." She could tell he was worried something was wrong and wanted to reassure him.

He nodded. "We'll let you rest then, Love. Just let me know if you need anything." He felt for a fever before kissing her forehead.

She gave him a soft smile and closed her eyes, hoping to fight the nausea. Emma drank the tea slowly as she thought about what could be making her feel so tired and nauseous. If she didn't have a stomach bug, she knew there was only one thing that it could be, and that possibility scared her a little.

She sighed softly. She and Killian had talked about it, but were trying to be careful, knowing that having another baby wasn't something they thought they were ready for, even if they knew they both wanted to have another baby.

Killian spent the rest of the afternoon playing with Charlotte. Emma got out of bed and changed into more comfortable clothes before going to join them in the living room.

"Are you feeling any better, Love?" He asked softly.

She shrugged. "I'm okay, Babe. Thank you for letting me get some rest, I was more tired than I thought." She leaned against his side when he held his arm out to her.

He held her close. "How about we turn on a movie, and you can watch it with Lottie while I make us dinner?"

She nodded. "Okay.. Um, can we talk after we put Charlotte to bed tonight?" She asked softly.

"Aye, Love, of course." He assured her.

Later that night once Charlotte was asleep, Killian was cleaning up the living room when Emma settled into the chair near the window. Killian finished and came over to her, she moved and settled into his lap once he sat down.

She took his hand into hers and messed with his fingers nervously, she was scared to tell him what she thought was making her not feel well. Killian just held her, knowing she'd talk when she felt like she was ready.

"I um, I think I might have an idea why I've been so exhausted lately. And I'm a little scared about it, and about how you'll react.."

He ran his stump over her back gently. "It's alright, Love, take your time.."

She took a deep breath and looked up at him. "I um, I know we've been careful.. But, I might be pregnant, Killian.." She said softly, her eyes trying to read him for his reaction.

Killian was a little scared, but he just held her tighter. "We have been careful, but we know it happens. We talked about having kids last week.. Is this something you want, Emma? If you are pregnant, would you want to keep the baby?"

She ran her fingers over his cheek. "I mean, I love you, and we both want to have another kid.. I never expected this, especially not now, but.. Well, I don't think I could do anything but love our baby. I love being a mom, and well, this is something I want now that it's a possibility.."

He nodded. "Are you worried about me? You're an amazing mother, Emma, you can do anything.. But I can tell you're scared, Love."

She shook her head. "No, no. I mean I am scared, but I'm not worried about you doing anything that could hurt the baby, I promise.. I'm scared because we hadn't planned on this, we've only recently talked about if it was something we might want some day.. I know we talked about it before your deployment, but.. A lot has happened."

He kissed her cheek, still rubbing her back. "Aye, it's something scary to think about.. But I know we'll love the little one more than anything. We didn't exactly plan for this to happen now, and we've still got a lot going on.. But, we're married and we're doing okay.." He said softly, "And I know us waiting is mostly for me to be ready.. But I don't know if I'll ever be ready, Emma."

She sighed. "I don't even know if I am pregnant, so I don't know why I'm so upset right now. And I know that if I am, that we'll be okay, and we'll love our child.. But we'll have to move, and it'll be a lot of work and I don't want it to overwhelm you and.." She huffed out a sigh. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry we're even in this position."

"It's not your fault, Swan. We both play a part in this, and we knew it could happen. We knew the risks, but we know we want another kid someday." He laced his fingers through hers. "I love you no matter what, and we will be alright." His words were more to reassure himself than her.

She nodded and laid her head on his shoulder as he held her. "I love you too. I'll get a test tomorrow so we don't have to keep worrying about it." She kissed his jaw. "And either way, I know you're an amazing dad, and I'm just glad I have you."

"And you always will, my love. Let's go to bed, we can't do anything tonight."

She got up from his lap and took his hand as she led him to bed. She crawled into bed, and snuggled into him once he was settled. She pulled his arm around her and rested it against her stomach.

"If I am pregnant, I really want to keep the baby, Killian. I can't imagine not loving a child we made.." She admitted softly, in the dark of their room.

"Aye, Love. I do too. It'll all work out." He whispered against her hair. "Get some rest, and we'll know more tomorrow."

Killian had an awful nightmare that night, waking up in a cold sweat. Emma was sitting up, trying to gently coax him out of the nightmare, her eyes showing relief when his finally met hers.

"Hey there.." She whispered, her hand hesitantly brushing the sweaty hair from his forehead. "You're okay, Baby.."

He nodded a little. "Aye.. I hate that I woke you." He said softly, trying to sit up, his breathing heavy.

"It's alright, try and take some deep breaths for me, Babe." She said softly.

Killian focused on slowing his breathing, taking deep breaths. He couldn't quite remember what the nightmare had been about, but he knew it involved losing his family. Emma rubbed his back gently as he settled down.

"Thanks for being so gentle with me." He said softly.

"Of course, why don't you get a new shirt that isn't all sweaty and I'll go get you a glass of water." She kissed the side of his head before she got up.

Killian sighed softly, running his fingers through his hair. He went to the bathroom and washed his face before changing into a new shirt. Emma brought him some water and he practically chugged the glass. Emma pulled on one of Killian's sweaters and settled back into bed with him.

"Can I hold you, Swan?" He asked softly.

"Of course." She moved herself into his arms. "I didn't want to just assume you wanted me to be close to you."

"Most of my nightmares are about losing you and Lottie.. So it makes me feel better to hold you." He said softly.

"Try and get some more sleep, Killian.. I promise I'll still be here in the morning." She pressed a kiss to his chest.

He closed his eyes, hoping he could fall back to sleep. Emma couldn't fall asleep, her mind was racing with thoughts of Killian's nightmares and the possibility she might be pregnant, but she relaxed a little when she realized Killian was finally back asleep.

Emma's fatigue finally took over her and she fell asleep; when she woke up the next morning, she felt nauseous again, but Killian was still sound asleep and looked so peaceful she didn't want to wake him.

She got herself some water, hoping to keep herself from getting sick. She was able to keep it down for a little while, until she was doing some laundry and suddenly smelled her perfume on her clothes.

Killian woke up with the noise, and was immediately at her side in the bathroom. "You're alright, Love.. I've got you." He spoke softly, rubbing her back gently.

She sat back on her feet. "I'm fine, Killian. I'm sorry I woke you up, I was trying to be quiet."

"Don't be, Swan. I don't mind.. Are you feeling any better?" He ran his fingers through her hair, loosening some of the knots.

She nodded. "I was feeling nauseous, but I never got sick last night.. And just now I was putting clothes in the washer, and the smell of my perfume instantly made me throw up."

He frowned. "I'm sorry, Love.. I hate that you're feeling like this, and I know you're worried."

"I am, but.. I know that no matter what we'll be okay. You're doing so well, and you and I are in a really good place.. And Charlotte's almost two and a half. This could be really good for us." She admitted.

He kissed her forehead. "How about I walk and get you a test.. Then we can at least have an answer, and you won't have to be worried about the what ifs.."

She pulled him into a hug and held onto him for a moment. "I don't deserve you, but I love you so much. You're sitting here on the bathroom floor, trying to reassure me when I know you're probably just as scared as I am."

"Aye, Love, I'm scared too.. But if you're pregnant, I was a part of that happening, and if you're simply sick, I want to take care of you." He shrugged, holding her close. "Either way, there's no where I'd rather be than right here."

She nodded against his neck. "I know.. I um, I think I'm going to check on Lottie, and then get back in bed for a while, if you don't mind going to get a test?"

"Of course not, I'll be back soon." He made sure she wasn't wobbling on her feet and let her brush her teeth before he left.

When he came back, he found his girls curled up together in bed. Charlotte was munching on some cereal, and Emma was running her fingers gently through her hair, a cartoon playing on the television.

"Good morning, Loves." He smiled, leaning over and kissing Charlotte's head and pressing a kiss to Emma's lips gently. Emma smiled, shifting so she was sitting up better. Charlotte reached to share her cereal with Killian and he let her feed it to him happily, making her grin at him.

"Daddy's going to cuddle with you for a minute, Baby. Mommy's gonna do something, okay?" Emma asked Charlotte.

She nodded and climbed over Emma to sit on Killian's lap. Emma took the bag he had brought and went to the bathroom in the hall, she knew neither of them wanted to spend all day waiting to know.

Killian took Charlotte to the living room to watch cartoons, and so she could play with her toys while he and Emma talked. Emma finished and got herself some crackers to keep her stomach settled and her mind on another task while they waited.

Keeping his eye on Charlotte, Killian met her in the kitchen and kissed her temple. "It'll all work out, Love. No matter what this test says."

She nodded and leaned against him. "I know.. And I want you to know that even though I'm scared, there's a part of me that really wants this. I love being a mom, and.. Watching you as a father, gosh, Killian. There's nothing that makes me happier than seeing you be a dad.."

He nodded. "There's part of me that wants this too, Love.. I've been home almost an entire year, and we'll have a while yet to plan and get ready. If we were honestly waiting until I was ready to try for a baby, I'm not sure it would ever happen.. I'll always be scared of what could happen."

"You're right. And this time, you're here for good. We had Lottie when we knew you were getting deployed, and she's a wonderful little one.." She picked the test up from the counter. "Can you look at it? I know it's stupid, but I want you to do it."

Killian took it from her, and felt her bury her face into his chest as he looked at the results. "It's positive, Love.. We're having a baby." He whispered.

She simply wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly before meeting his eyes. She hadn't realized she'd started crying until she felt Killian's thumb swipe against her cheek bone.

She sniffled a little. "I don't even know why I'm crying.. I'm not upset.. It's just a lot.." She admitted.

"Shh.. It's okay, Emma. It is a lot, and I'm feeling a lot right now too. I'm not upset with you." His own eyes were watery. "This is going to be a big change for us, but being a dad is one of the best parts of my life, and I'm going to do my best to be the father our kids need."

She pressed up on her toes and kissed him softly. "You're already so amazing." She breathed. "We're having another baby, and I am happy, even if it doesn't seem like it."

"I know, my love, I can tell you're just overwhelmed. I'm happy as well." He held her tightly.

"I um, I need to make a doctor's appointment I guess." She mumbled.

"Aye, Love. I'd like to go with you, if that's alright? I want to be by your side through everything, especially since I never thought we'd get this again." He rubbed her back, hoping to soothe her a little.

"Of course you can come, I'd honestly want nothing more than for you to be there for everything." She smiled.

Emma was able to get an appointment for that upcoming week, and Killian asked David to babysit Charlotte for them. Emma was sitting next to Killian in the waiting room, her knee bouncing up and down quickly.

She had her fingers laced through Killian's and their hands resting on her lap. Killian squeezed her hand gently, and pressed a kiss to her hair.

"It's all going to be okay, Love. Try not to worry too much, aye?"

She glanced at him, and stopped bouncing her knee. "Sorry, sorry.. I was just lost in my mind, I guess I didn't realize what I was doing."

He stroked her knuckles gently with his thumb. "I love you, Swan. I can't wait to see our little one." He said softly.

"I'm probably not very far along, Killian, so there won't be much to see.. But I'm kind of excited too.." She let herself smile for a moment. "I can't believe we're here again, we've been through so much to get here.."

He smiled a little. "We have been through so much, our relationship has been through so much.. But, here we are together, after we thought we'd never see each other again. And we created a new little life.." He shrugged. "I never thought I'd see you or Lottie again, I definitely never let myself think I'd get to be a father again."

She kissed the back of his hand. "I know I haven't really seemed happy about this, but I am. I love so much about you, but your heart is one of my favorite things. You adore Charlotte, and I know that nothing will be different with this little one."

Before Killian could speak a nurse called her name, and they headed back to the exam room. The nurse took a blood sample and got everything ready for the doctor.

Killian stood near Emma's head, his fingers running through her hair gently. He was scared of being a dad again, especially with all of his mental health issues, but he already loved their child more than anything. When Emma's doctor came in, she reviewed Emma's file and the information the nurse had written down before fully addressing Emma.

"It's good to see you, Emma. This must be your husband?" She asked with a smile.

"Aye, I'm Killian, it's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, Killian."

Her doctor spent a few minutes talking with Emma, asking questions about her health, and any medications she was taking. They took an ultrasound and the doctor looked at it for a few minutes before talking to them.

"Well, your ultrasound looks good, Emma. The development looks to be about six or seven weeks, and both mom and baby appear to be healthy." She smiled. "I'll give you both a print out, and you can schedule your next appointment on your way out. Congratulations."

Emma fixed her clothes and turned to look at Killian. He was frozen looking at the ultrasound image the doctor had given them. She reached for his hand, hoping to get him to meet her eyes.

"Hey, Killian? Are you okay?" She asked gently.

He shook himself out of his thoughts. "Aye, Love.. It all kind of really just hit me, this is real.. This little dot, that's our baby.." He gave her a small smile.

She pressed up on her toes and kissed him. "Yeah, that's our little one." She took his hand and pressed it against her stomach. "I'm happy. And Lottie is going to be such an amazing big sister."

He smiled, wrapping his left arm around her and pulling her close. "Aye, she's going to be amazing. I'm happy that you and the little bean are healthy."


	13. Chapter 13

Over the next few weeks, Emma and Killian started to look at new places to live. Their apartment only had two bedrooms, and because of the way they grew up, they both wanted to have enough space for their entire family.

Killian was still getting comfortable with driving with only his one hand, so while Charlotte was at preschool he would practice driving around with Liam. He wanted to talk to Liam about Emma being pregnant, but she had asked him if they could keep this to themselves in case anything happened.

One afternoon, Liam could tell that there was something on Killian's mind that he wasn't telling him. Killian had been discussing his fears with his therapist, and she had been helping him to work through all of the emotions he was feeling, but he still seemed preoccupied.

"Is everything alright between you and Emma, Brother?" Liam asked as Killian drove them around.

"Aye, Liam.. I'm not sure we've ever been better." Killian shrugged. "Why?"

"You've just seemed to have something on your mind lately, and I wanted to be sure that you and Emma were still okay.. I know it's something you've been worried about since being home."

"Oh, um.. Emma and I are very happy, it's not that, Liam." He assured his brother.

"Alright, but if you'd like to talk about whatever it is that's on your mind.. I'm here to listen."

Killian sighed softly. "I'd like to tell you more than you know.. But I can't, not yet at least.. I made a promise to my wife, it's personal for us.. I know she wouldn't be upset with me if I talked to you, but.. I'm just not ready yet?"

"Well, when you want to talk about whatever's on your mind, I'll still be here if you need me."

Later that evening, Killian found Emma looking at her body in the mirror. He stepped up behind her and rested his good hand against the tiny bump that had started to form.

"You're absolutely beautiful, Love." He kissed her cheek.

She smiled a little, and covered his hand with hers. "Thank you.. I'm going to have to start wearing looser fitting clothes so that people can't tell.."

Killian shrugged. "You're so tiny, Swan, no one will know for a few weeks yet. I only can tell because I've memorized every inch of your body.."

She let her shirt fall back down and turned in his arms. "I know, and I promise we can tell our families soon.. I know you hate keeping it from Liam.."

"Aye, it's certainly difficult not to tell him. He and I talk about everything." He hugged her close. "But I'll survive until you're ready to tell them.."

She kissed him softly for a moment. "I love you."

"I love you too, Emma. And you, little one." He knelt and pressed a kiss to her stomach as well.

Emma ran her fingers through his hair and smiled. "I know they love you too, Babe."

Killian got up, and kissed her forehead, his fingers messing with the dogtags she still never took off. "I can't believe you still wear these, Love."

She shrugged. "They make me feel close to you.. I don't know, is that weird?"

"I don't believe so, Swan. But I'm biased and think it's kind of sexy to see my wife wearing them." He curled her hair behind her ear.

"Mmm.. Good thing I don't plan on stopping." She grinned. "Let's look at some more houses, I want to be moved when the baby is born if we can be." She said softly.

"Aye, Love.. I was um, I actually found a listing earlier today that I wanted to show you.." He told her as they settled in bed with Emma's laptop.

Killian pulled up a listing for a house that was only a few houses down from her brother's, closer to Liam, and closer to Emma's office. It was big enough, and had everything they wanted.

Emma leaned against him. "This house is beautiful, Killian.. And so close to my brother?"

"Aye, Love.. I talked to the real estate agent, and she said all we needed to do was put in an offer.. Or we can go see it, if you want."

"Um, can we go see it during my lunch break tomorrow? It looks perfect, and I just don't want it to be too good to be true."

"Of course we can, Love. I understand wanting to see it for yourself, it'll be the first home we own.." He said softly. "That's big for the both of us."

She nodded. "It'll be good though.. We'll get to raise our kids in a real house, together. Have a backyard and maybe a pet or something when they're older."

Killian rubbed her back. "Aye, Love. Something we both always dreamed of giving our children."

She shut the laptop and kissed his cheek. "This little one is making me kinda tired, can we go to sleep?" She asked softly.

"Of course, Sweetheart." He set the computer aside and pulled the blankets over them. "I don't need my love to be fatigued, you and the babe need your rest."

Emma snuggled against him, laying her head on his chest to hear his heartbeat. In the last year, Emma had started sleeping where she could hear his heart, it made her feel safer and reassured her that he was alive.

After going to see the house the next day, Emma and Killian decided to put in an offer. They still hadn't told their families they were having a baby, or planning to move, and wanted to wait until they knew they had the house.

Killian continued to go to therapy once a week, even though his therapist told him they could cut back since he was handling everything very well. But, he felt he needed the time to talk about his feelings and fears surrounding the new baby.

"So, Killian.. I know we talk about this each week, but are you still handling Emma's pregnancy alright?" His therapist asked.

He ran his hand over his face. "Aye.. Of course I'm happy, I love being a father.. But I'm scared I'm only going to screw up this child's life. My mental health is different every single day, and.. I don't know how to take care of a baby with only one hand.. I struggled with Lottie and I had both.."

"Have you talked with your family about this yet? I know you said you talk with Emma, but is there anyone else you've been able to talk to?"

He shook his head. "No, we haven't told our families about the baby yet.. It's too soon, we want to be past the point where a miscarriage is still very possible.."

"I understand. You're still talking with Emma about all of your fears? I know it's difficult, but you've already got one beautiful little girl, Killian, and as long as you make sure you're talking with Emma and telling her your fears, everything will work out."

"Aye, I do my best to talk to Emma.. I know she deals with her own anxiety and depression.. We've had a lot of talks about her taking medications, and returning to therapy on her own. And I know that as happy as we both are, she's just as scared as I am.."

"Of course she is, having a baby is a big deal.. And with one parent in the military, especially with what you've been through.. It's complicated, but as long as you keep talking to your wife, and letting your feelings out, you have everything you need to be okay."

Killian ran his fingers through his hair. "I know.. I'm worried I'll have an attack while I'm holding the baby.. Or Emma will have to go back to work, and something will happen that I can't handle without her. I already had a panic attack in public and they called the police and CPS on me.."

She nodded. "You just need to make sure you ask for help, Killian. You work so incredibly hard with me, in order to be the best you can be for your family. Your new baby isn't going to change that unless you let it."

He nodded. "I guess I needed to hear that.. I know I'm trying, and I'm taking my medications. I don't have as many attacks anymore.."

"Just keep talking about your fears, and let Emma know what you're feeling.. I've seen you when you've brought Charlotte with you, you're already a good father."

He nodded, trying to let his doctor's words sink in. He went home knowing he needed to continue to talk with Emma, he hadn't been as open with her about it as he should be.


	14. Chapter 14

A few weeks later, they invited their family over for dinner so they could tell them all together about the baby. Emma got home from work and found Killian in the kitchen with Charlotte and Liam, cooking. Killian was helping Charlotte stir something in a bowl, and Liam was at the stove.

"Hello, Love." Killian glanced up at her with a smile. "How was work today?"

"Good.." She kissed Charlotte's head and then pressed up to kiss him. "I'm tired, but it wasn't a bad day." She shrugged. "And I'm looking forward to dinner."

He nodded, brushing her hair back. "Aye, it'll be fun.. Liam offered to help cook, so I let him since you had to work."

She nodded and hugged her brother-in-law. "Thank you for helping, I appreciate it."

He hugged her back. "My pleasure, Lass. I'm glad to help. Thank you for having us over tonight, it's been a while since we've all been able to get together, and it'll be nice to celebrate Killian being back for a whole year.."

She smiled. "Yeah, David is finally not working the weekend shift, it's a big anniversary for all of us. I thought it'd be a good excuse for our family to spend some time together.."

Killian lifted Charlotte to his hip, and kissed her cheek. "How about you and Mummy go play, little love? I know she's missed you today."

"Yeah, I wanna play with Mummy." She smiled, reaching for Emma, who easily took her from Killian and cuddled her close.

Liam helped Killian finish cooking while they waited for everyone else to arrive. Emma helped Charlotte open the door when David and Mary Margaret got there, Charlotte immediately hugging her aunt and uncle's legs.

"Hello there, Cutie. I've missed you." David smiled, kissing Charlotte's little cheeks. "Hey, Em." He hugged his sister tightly. "Are you doing well?"

Emma nodded. "Yeah, David, I'm fine.. Tired, but that's nothing new." She shrugged.

"Has work been stressful?" Mary Margaret asked.

"Not really, I've just been busy lately. Plus, I have a toddler to keep up with when I get home." She tickled Charlotte gently before heading to the kitchen to Liam and Killian.

"Is Elsa coming tonight, Liam?"

"Aye, Lass. She just had a session late this afternoon, but she texted me when she left, so she'll be here soon." He smiled.

"Oh good, I'm glad we'll get to see her." Mary Margaret smiled, setting the dish she brought next to Killian. "Is there anything I can do to help, Killian?"

"Oh, um.. Of course, if you'd like to." He smiled, letting her help him set the table.

Once Elsa got there, the group of them settled down to eat. Emma sat next to Killian and took his prosthetic in her hands, she was beginning to get nervous about finally telling them about the baby and their plans to move.

Killian pressed a kiss to her hair, he knew she was exhausted from the pregnancy and working all day, and he could tell she was scared that their brothers wouldn't be happy for them. She was quiet mostly through dinner, content to just listen to them all chat happily with each other, and listen to Charlotte talk with her.

"Everything alright, Emma? You've been awfully quiet tonight.." David observed after they'd finished eating and were all settled in the living room.

Emma glanced at Killian briefly. "Um, yeah.. Everything's fine.. Killian and I just have something we want to tell all of you, and I guess I've just been preoccupied."

"Are you both okay?" Mary Margaret was worried something was wrong.

"Aye, Lass. We're fine, not to worry." Killian assured her. "We just wanted to tell you all that we're moving.. We bought the house that was for sale a few down from you and David.."

"You're moving? That's great, Killian." Elsa smiled. "What caused you to decide to move?"

"Well, Lass, that's the other thing we wanted to talk about.." He rubbed Emma's back gently, as she met his eyes.

"I'm pregnant." Emma blurted out, ready to just rip the bandaid off and have them know the truth. "It's why I've been tired, and wearing Killian's clothes more than usual.. And it's why we're moving, we want both of our children to have their own bedroom, and.." She shrugged. "And we're happy."

"You're pregnant? Emma, Sweetie, that's amazing. I'm so happy for you." Mary Margaret smiled. "And I'm glad you'll be so close to David and I.. I've been wondering who bought that house."

"Yeah, Killian and I are happy.. We're a little scared, but we think this is something really good for us, for our marriage, our family." She said softly.

"Of course it is, Lass.." Liam smiled. "Elsa and I will be here for whatever you need, and I'm sure David and Mary Margaret will be as well."

"Thank you, Liam.." Emma said softly as Killian wrapped his arm around her waist and held her close. His hand rested against her bump instinctively, and she shifted further into his arms.

"We should be moving in a couple weeks.. We've got a little time left on our lease here, and we need to get packed up and everything." Killian said softly.

"We'll be glad you help you pack, Killian. We don't want to over work Emma, and I know packing up isn't exactly the most exciting task." David offered.

"Thank you, Dave. I appreciate it.. It won't be easy with one hand, a toddler, and a pregnant wife.." He shrugged.

Emma rolled her eyes. "I'm right here, and I'm not an invalid." She sighed. "I can help pack our stuff."

"I never suggested you were an invalid, Love.. I only meant that you spend all day working, you don't need to come home only to do more work when I spend all day doing nothing right now.." Killian kissed her forehead. "I didn't mean to upset you, Swan."

"I know, I just.. I'm pregnant, and you know I hate when people treat pregnant women like they can't do anything.. I don't like feeling that way." She sighed.

Killian frowned. "I know, and I'm sorry, Emma. I'm just protective of my lasses.."

She leaned up and kissed him. "I know, and I love you for it.." She admitted.

He kissed her softly. "I love you too, Swan. More than you know." He whispered.

The two of them were lost in their own little world for a few minutes. Emma laid her head on his chest, her fatigue catching up with her as she let herself relax.

"I never asked, but how far along are you, Sweetheart?" Mary Margaret said after a while.

"Oh, um.. I'm about sixteen weeks now." Emma shrugged. "I started showing a couple weeks ago.."

"And you're both healthy?"

"Very.. We're doing really well actually." She smiled, resting her hand against her bump. "The little one and I are great." She got up from the couch. "I'm um, I'm actually gonna go change, I never did when I got home."

"Of course, and just know you don't have to hide your bump anymore, we just want you to be comfortable.." David assured his sister.

She nodded and headed to the bedroom to change. Killian ran his fingers through his hair as he sat there.

"Is this what's been on your mind lately, Killian?" Liam asked softly.

He nodded. "Aye, Brother.. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but Emma and I agreed not to tell anyone and I wasn't going to break my wife's trust. No matter how much I wanted to talk to you."

"I understand, Killian, I'm not upset. I just want to be sure you're still doing well? I know the timing isn't what you expected?"

Killian shrugged. "I'm doing well, my therapist has been helping me a lot since we found out.. I've been scared about being able to handle a new baby with my PTSD, and only one hand. She and Emma have both helped me a lot in the last few weeks."

"Well, now that I know, if you ever need to talk to someone I'm glad to listen. I think any one of us would be glad to listen if you needed it." Liam assured him.

Killian nodded, smiling a little when he saw Emma heading back to the living room looking more comfortable. She had changed into a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt, the curve of her bump easily seen. When she came back in David pulled her into a hug, his hand cupping the back of her head.

"I'm so happy for you, Sis." He said softly, holding her close. "Mom would be so happy for you. She would've loved to see you with your family.." He spoke softly.

Emma hugged him tighter at his words. "Thank you, David.. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I just wanted us to wait long enough until it was unlikely anything would happen.."

"I'm not upset, Emma. I'm just happy you're happy and healthy, and I think this little one here is a blessing.." He rested his hand against her stomach. "And already so loved by their Uncle David."

She covered his hand and smiled at her brother. "Now let me hug your wife, she's barely containing herself over there."

David chuckled and let Mary Margaret hug Emma. "Does Charlotte understand what's happening?"

"No, we haven't sat her down to explain yet.. We wanted to make sure that I didn't miscarry before we talked to her about it, since she's still so young." She said softly.

"That makes sense, Sweetie. She's going to be an amazing big sister."

"Yeah, she is.." She glanced at where she was playing on the floor with Liam. "I think she's going to love having a little brother or sister."

"I'm going to go clean up dinner for you, I can tell you're exhausted tonight and I want you to rest and spend time with your husband, it's an important day." Mary Margaret kissed her cheek.

Emma sighed, she knew better than to fight against her sister-in-law, and she had to admit that being held by Killian sounded really nice right now. She settled back with Killian, as he pulled her legs over his lap so she was as close as she could be to him, his arms holding her close.

Elsa came over and ran her hand over Killian's shoulders. "I'm happy for you two. I can see how well you've been doing with your PTSD, Killian, and I don't want you to be scared to have this baby. Any kid is lucky to have you as a dad."

He looked up at her, an unsure smile on his lips. "Thanks, Els. I'm not so sure I agree, but I'm trying to get there. I want to be a good father to Charlotte and this child.."

"You already are, all it takes is you doing what you can to keep them happy and healthy. I'm really proud of how far you've come in the last year, Killian." She kissed his cheek. "We should get out of your hair, I'm sure you'd like to be alone with your wife."

Killian shrugged. "We don't mind, Elsa.. I get to spend a lot of time with my brother, but we don't see you as often.. It's good to spend time with the rest of our family."

Emma glanced up from where she'd been watching Charlotte. "Yeah, as long as you don't mind me relaxing a little you're welcome to stay as long as you'd like.. I'm sure Lottie won't want to let Liam or David leave until she's practically asleep."

Elsa smiled. "Yeah.. Liam adores her just as much as she adores him. I know he'd be an amazing father, I just hope that's something we'll have one day.." She shrugged.

"It'll all work out, Lass.." Killian squeezed her hand.

Liam and Elsa had been trying for a baby, but it just wasn't happening for them. Liam had been talking with Killian about it for months, but Liam knew that if they were meant to have a baby of their own it would happen.

She kissed the top of his head. "Yeah, yeah.. I'm going to go see how Mary Margaret is doing, do either of you need anything?"

Emma shook her head. "No, thank you though.." Once Elsa had left Emma leaned further into Killian's chest. "This has been really good, thank you for taking care of the food."

He kissed her temple. "Of course, Love. I know this pregnancy has made you extra tired so I figured getting everything ready was the least I could do to make tonight easier on you.."

She nodded. "This little one is taking it out of me, but I don't mind so much.. They're healthy and I'm healthy.. And I've got you to help me through this."

Killian smiled. "Always.."

David and Liam talked while they kept Charlotte entertained. Even after spending most of the day playing with Charlotte, Liam still loved spending the time with her. David glanced up at his sister curled up in Killian's arms. He loved seeing them together, and seeing how happy Emma was whenever she was close to Killian.

Mary Margaret and Elsa came back and they talked until Charlotte was practically asleep on David's lap. Killian moved to take her from David so he could get her ready for bed, but he stopped him.

"I'll change her and get her into bed, Killian. Don't worry about it."

"You don't have to, David." Killian frowned.

"You're her parents, I'm not here often, so I don't mind doing this for you." He shrugged, heading to put Charlotte to bed for them.

While he was gone they said goodbye to the rest of their family, and Mary Margaret gave Emma an extra long hug.

"I'm so happy for you, Emma. Please let me know if there is anything at all that I can do to help you or Killian."

Emma nodded. "I will, M, I promise. I'm trying to be better about letting people help me."

She nodded and gave Killian a quick hug before they headed out of their apartment. Once the door was closed behind their family, Emma practically fell into Killian's arms.

"I love having them here, but I'm exhausted." She spoke into his chest, her arms wrapped around his waist.

Killian held onto her. "Let's get you into bed then, Love. We can sleep, or watch a movie.." He lifted her into his arms and carried her to their bed, ignoring her protests that she could walk herself.


	15. Chapter 15

Killian went to every doctor's appointment with Emma, wanting to be as involved as she would let him be in her pregnancy. They decided they wanted to know the baby's gender, and as they waited for the sonogram to be completed, Killian was nervously holding Emma's hand.

She took both his hand and prosthetic in her hands, and squeezed gently to reassure him. She was excited for the ultrasound, and to find out if her instinct was correct and they were going to have another little girl. Killian pressed a kiss to her hair.

"Sorry, Love.. I'm just excited to see the little bean again." He said softly.

The technician smiled when she heard Killian. "Is this your first?" She asked.

"No, we have a two year old lass. This babe is just very special to us, and neither of us thought we'd be here again." Killian shrugged. "And I think we're both excited to find out the gender."

Emma couldn't help but smile at Killian's excitement. She knew that this baby was something like a miracle for them, and they'd been through so much to get to this point.

"Well, it's sweet to see parents who are so happy. It's one of the things that I love about my job." She smiled. "Can you lift your shirt for me a little more, Emma?"

"Oh, of course, sorry." She smiled, fixing the shirt and adjusting Killian's tags around her neck.

"No problem. Are you in the military?" The technician tried to make small talk so Emma felt more comfortable.

"Oh, um, Killian was in the military." Emma smiled, she was so proud of Killian..

"What branch?" She glanced at Killian.

"I was a Captain in the Navy, but I've recently retired from active duty because of injuries.." He shrugged.

She smiled. "That's amazing, a Captain.. I guess you're excited to be home with your wife now that you're having a baby.."

"Aye, Lass. I'm very happy that I get to be here right now. I've been through a lot to get here, but I am.. And I'm so excited to find out if we're having a little lad or lass." He smiled.

"Well, it's time, and it looks like you're having a little girl." She smiled at them. "I'll make sure you get the pictures to take home with you."

Killian pressed a kiss to Emma's hair. "Another little girl, Swan." He had tears in his eyes and a bright smile.

Emma pulled him in to kiss him softly. "I had a feeling it was a girl. Are you worried about being even more outnumbered at home?" She asked softly.

He smiled. "No, I'm just so happy, I don't mind, I love my girls. I love you, Emma." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I love you too." She cleaned the gel from her stomach and fixed her shirt, taking the print outs.

Once they were out of the office, Killian pulled Emma into his arms and gave her a searing kiss. "I hope you know just how happy I am, Emma. We've having another baby girl.. Lottie's going to be excited to have a little sister."

Emma hugged him tightly when they pulled apart. "Yeah, she is.. And I know you're happy, I am too."

Their families and friends were very helpful getting them moved into their new house. They helped pack boxes up, and once the movers had delivered everything, they spent their evenings helping them get some stuff unpacked.

While Emma was working, Liam and Killian painted the nursery, set up the crib and other furniture, and got the room ready so that it was something Emma didn't have to even worry about. Killian made sure that she was happy with anything they worked on, but he didn't want her to stress about it.

After cleaning up dinner one night, Killian found Emma sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery, reading softly to Charlotte who had curled up as best she could on her lap.

"How are all three of my girls tonight?" He asked softly once Emma had closed the book.

"Good, Dada. Mummy read." Charlotte smiled at him.

He leaned down and kissed her head. "Mummy read to you and your baby sister?" He asked softly.

She nodded. "Yeah, up?" She reached for him, laying her head on his shoulder once Killian had her in his arms.

"How are you, Swan, feeling okay?"

Emma gave him a smile. "Yeah, tired, but I'm good.." She ran her hand over his back.

Charlotte yawned and rubbed her eyes tiredly. Killian swayed a little, and rubbed her back hoping to get her to sleep easily. Since their move she'd been having trouble sleeping, still not used to her new room.

"Go get ready for bed, Love.. I'll lay her down, and grab the baby monitor."

Emma took a minute to get up from the chair and kissed his cheek before heading to their bedroom. Killian took Charlotte to her room, and laid her in her bed. He sat next to her for a moment, tucking her stuffed duck into her arms. He hated seeing her scared and unable to sleep, she was starting to become miserable and with the new baby coming soon he was worried she'd feel left out.

Once he was sure she was asleep, he kissed her head and went to lay down with Emma. Emma snuggled against him.

"Is she okay?" She asked softly.

"Aye, Love.. I think she's still getting used to the new room, and when she wakes up she gets scared because she doesn't recognize the room."

Emma sighed softly, running her hand down his chest. "I hope she'll be settled by the time the baby comes.. I don't want her to feel like we don't love her as much."

"I know, Swan.. It'll be okay though, neither of us are going to just forget about Charlotte. And I know that our brothers aren't going to let us be alone through this.." He rubbed her back gently.

"She's still a toddler, she's adjusting and simply doesn't know how to express her discomfort other than crying.." Emma nodded against him, she knew he was right she just hated seeing her baby so exhausted and upset.

Emma's due date was close to Killian's birthday, and even though she should have been resting in bed, she insisted on getting up early and making a special breakfast for him. When Killian woke up to any empty bed, he immediately went in search of his wife.

He stepped up behind her, and wrapped his arms gently around her waist, his hand resting against her bump. "Good morning, Love.. What're you doing up so early?"

She leaned back against his chest. "It's your birthday, and I wanted to make you breakfast.." She said softly before turning in his arms to kiss him. "Happy Birthday, Killian."

Killian smiled and kissed her softly. "Thank you, Love. I appreciate the gesture, but you really didn't have to do this.. You're nine months pregnant.."

She shook her head. "I wanted to, I love you, and you deserve everything on your birthday." She turned back to the eggs she was making. "Now, sit with your cup of coffee before Lottie gets up."

Killian poured his cup, and settled at the counter near Emma. She stretched, resting her hand against the small of her back, her discomfort clear on her face.

"Swan, if you're uncomfortable, I can finish up.. You've done most of the work already." He shrugged, moving to rub her back gently.

She sighed. "It's okay, Babe.. My back just hurts, but I'm carrying a person around, I think it comes with the territory.." She tried to assure him.

"Emma, please.. You're supposed to be resting anyway. Your due date is soon, she could come at any moment.. I know you've been having braxton hicks contractions, Emma." He trailed his fingers over her back.

She bit her lip, her discomfort increasing. "I know, I know, I'm sorry. I have been feeling kinda weird this morning.." She admitted.

Killian frowned, guiding her to a chair and putting some food in front of her. "Well, try and eat a little and we'll spend the day resting. I just want to spend my birthday with my girls, it doesn't matter what we do."

They had woken up quite early, so they enjoyed their breakfast together simply talking. Killian was grateful to have a few quiet moments with Emma on his birthday before Charlotte woke up, the two of them didn't get to spend as much time alone anymore, so he liked to take advantage of the time when he could.

When he heard Charlotte calling for them over the monitor, Killian headed to her bedroom leaving Emma at the kitchen table. He smiled at Charlotte and pressed a kiss to her hair.

"Good morning, Beautiful." He said softly, picking her up when she reached for him.

"Morning." She mumbled, laying her head on Killian's neck. "Breakfast?" She asked softly.

"Aye, Love, I'll get you some breakfast.. Did you sleep okay last night?" He asked, rubbing her back gently as he carried her to the kitchen.

"Mmmm.. Yeah, no scaries."

Killian smiled a little. "I'm glad. Do you want cereal, fruit, or eggs?"

"Um, eggs, Dada." She nodded. "Mummy?"

"She's right here, Princess, don't worry." He said, looking up to find Emma holding onto the counter with her eyes closed in pain. "Swan, are you okay?" He asked worriedly.

Emma sighed softly. "Um, I think I just had a contraction." She admitted to him, finally meeting his eyes.

Killian moved quickly to her side. "Was that the first one, Love?" He asked, trying not to scare Charlotte.

"Yeah, it was.. Nothing has been that strong until just now.. I um, I'm just going to sit down and hope another doesn't come quickly."

Killian settled Charlotte into the chair beside Emma and got to work on her food. "Of course, Love. Let me know if I can do anything to help you." He gave her a reassuring smile. "It looks like we might meet our little bean sooner than we thought."

Emma did her best to smile at him. "Yeah, I just.. I don't want to take away from your birthday, Killian."

He shook his head, placing Charlotte's scrambled eggs in front of her. "There wouldn't be a better present than getting to meet her today, Emma. You just try and relax, and don't worry about anything else."

Emma nodded, leaning back in her chair. She reached out and rubbed Charlotte's back gently as she waited for another contraction to hit. She was able to sit with Charlotte, and spend time with her and Killian for a little while before she felt another one.

She grabbed onto Killian's arm, squeezing tightly to get through it. Killian whispered softly to her, hating to see her in so much pain.

"That was about twenty minutes, Love.." He kissed her forehead once it had passed. "I'm going to go ahead and call David to watch Lottie so that we know she's okay for when I have to take you to the hospital."

She nodded, leaning her head into his chest. "Okay.. I'm sorry this is how we have to spend your birthday."

He shook his head, holding her close. "Don't be, my birthday just reminds me that I'm home and with you and our little girl. And now, our soon to be second little girl."

She kissed his neck where his shirt ended. Killian held her close while he talked to David, Charlotte settled on the floor with some toys happily playing. David agreed to come over and stay with them and then take care of Charlotte once it was time.

Emma snuggled into Killian's arms, taking comfort from having her husband by her side. From then, Emma's labor seemed to progress rather quickly. Before they knew it, Killian was getting Emma into the car, and giving Charlotte one last cuddle. David held her on his hip, knowing she'd be sad that her parents were leaving her.

Emma groaned as the next contraction hit, and Killian drove a little faster. Once they were at the hospital and settled into a room, Killian brushed the sweaty hair from her forehead.

"I love you, Emma.. You're doing so great right now, and I can't wait to meet the little lass." He whispered, his forehead resting against hers.

She gave him a tired smile. "I love you too.. I know this is a little early, and we didn't plan on her coming today.. But I think it's sweet that you'll share a birthday with our little miracle bean."

Killian chuckled softly. "Aye, our bean.. I um, can I ask you something?"

She nodded. "Yeah, of course, you can ask me anything, Killian."

He took a deep breath, settling on the edge of her bed and taking her hand. "I know we've only briefly talked about this, but.. Since David and Mary Margaret are Charlotte's godparents, could we ask Liam and Elsa for this little one?"

Emma smiled. "I think that's a great idea. I know we didn't ask them for Charlotte because Liam was still in the military with you, but since he's out now.. I think asking them is perfect. They're going to be amazing parents, and I know they'll love her like their own."

Killian nodded. "Thank you, Swan.. It's not that I don't trust your brother and sister-in-law, I do, I just.. Liam is my only family, and I love him."

"I know, Babe. I understand, and I really do think it's a good idea." She took his hand. "I had a present for you today, but I don't think anything will be able to compete with our little one."

He shook his head. "I appreciate it all the same, Love. Can I get you anything? Some ice or something?"

She shook her head. "No, just stay here with me. I have a feeling it'll be happening soon and I don't want to let you go."

Killian nodded and sat with her as best he could. Emma's labor luckily progressed quickly and before they knew it, Emma was back in her room cuddling their daughter close to her chest.


End file.
